Michael Cooper II

He’ll either be Nostradamus or front page of @OldTakesExposed @Lakers

Jameis Winston throws like me.

For the record: 1: Knicks 2: Spurs 3. Spurs 4. Knicks 5. Knicks 6. Knicks

People who hold up the line buying lottery tickets… I really just want to tell them “YOU’RE NOT WINNING!”

Peach anything is better than regular.

That’s about $52k per snap for Micah Parsons over the next 4 years. Wow.

Remember when you used to be able to pump your gas and then go in and pay for it?

I hate Sam’s Club.

I think every toilet should have a slow release lid.

“Quit waitin’ for someone to care about your life and go write you an autobiography.” @ahagazelle

I just realized they said “automo’ bills”

My time is infinitely more important than my money, and it’s not close. So I’ll cash app you something before I’ll dedicate time to come to your event. But if I do show up, you are either really important to me OR my wife wanted to go. And chances are it’s not the latter.

There is so much power to be had by creating and sustaining a perpetual victim class.

The only downside about spending time with my parents? The news. I absolutely hate the news.

Anyone else feel low-key relieved when you hit a red light on the way to the gym? I don’t even mind getting caught by a train.

There’s never really a gray-area.

If people you allow people to depend on you for anything, show up for them.

It be the discount people that give you the biggest headaches. Moral of the story: don’t give discounts.

How old should one be before they stop getting soap in their eyes in the shower? Because I have not yet reached that age.