Jon Canter

So thrilled was I when I got my first Moulinex that I went on a three-day blender.

For Biden to pick Trump as his Veep is a masterstroke that will unite America. And by calling Trump ‘she’, Biden has promised that if Trump transitions, she’ll be immune from prosecution. Donald Trump may have committed crimes but Donna Trump is innocent.

Tories! Sing with me now…🎶🎶 Things can only get bitter 🎶

Tories predicted to lose 241 seats. But it would’ve been 242 if Boris hadn’t campaigned. The man’s a winner.

‘Head-to-head debate between Rishi Sunak and Keir Starmer’. That’s what the BBC newsreader was trying to say. But what he said was ‘hate-to-hate’.

What are your Guilty Displeasures? Things you feel bad about not liking. I’ll start: Nick Cave, sailing.

If you live in Suffolk Coastal, you’ll know what to do.

How can you tell Tom Holland from Tom Hollander and Tom Holland?

Writers! Have you got any titles you don’t know what to do with? I’m giving away ‘Do Flies Go With That Sheikh?’ Enjoy!

Anyone else think Cillian Murphy would have made a great Ken?

You either love people who hate Marmite or you hate them. Or you’re indifferent. There are no four ways about it.

When we wake up, we want to see green. All green. We’re the Wordles of Wimbledon Common.

BAFTA Award for Best Presenter has to go to Hugh Grant

Steve Wright In The Afterlife

Why isn’t brunch called lunkfast?

So sad about Aston Barrett. Our thoughts and prayers are with his family men.

Can’t wait to see Colin Firth in The King’s Prostate

‘He lit a fire that burns in Ireland and around the world’, said Shane MacGowan’s sister. Hey, we’ve all done daft things after a couple of pints.

Recipes By Ottolenghi Are often Ottolengthi

If you suffer fools gladly, are you a saint? A fellow-fool? Or just someone who’s always glad?

FACT: Peas eaten by women used to be known as ‘chickpeas’.