Julia Lundy

Can't think of two things more disparate than the Super Bowl and the Super Bowl half-time show. #SuperBowl

Slicing Brussels sprouts with a mandoline - no one move, no one speak.

Woman singing outside subway entrance in #GrandCentral - I hung out as long as I could to listen before she had me crying in public.

I'm feeling like a superhuman today. #contactlenses

Got a cut on my finger just in time for camping.

Just scolded a dog for taking a dump in the bathroom. It was hard, because the hypocrisy of my actions was glaring.

Someone stuck tree branches in the recycling... This world is too easy on stupid people; it used to be that winter would come kill them off.

A mandoline is always good for a little blood in your kitchen.

My condolences to #DavidBowie's family who will have to sit through his biopic in 12 months pretending it really captured his life.

#GoldenGIobes winners each now have ten seconds less to speak thanks to Jamie Foxx.

Can we please stop using 'funny' as a noun? Or can I slap the people who do?

About half the time I wrap gifts is spent with me thinking, "Challenge accepted."

I'm keeping it real and lifting with my back.

This Larabar claims it will lift my vitality and provide energy with every bite. Halfway through and all I feel is sad to be eating it.

Just guided the engineer as he pulled our train up to its temporary platform. #LocalHero

Sometimes the only thing you can do is have a drink.

'The Monster Mash' is stuck in my head, and I haven't even heard it playing anywhere yet.

I've got the power vested in me by the City of New York!