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octopus/caveman (@octopuscaveman) profile picture

octopus/caveman

@octopuscaveman

cool ranch icarus

linktr.ee/octopuscaveman
Joined July 2017
  • Tweets157K
  • Following2.5K
  • Followers35.6K
11.5KMedia
Photo by octopus/caveman (@octopuscaveman)Photo by octopus/caveman (@octopuscaveman)Photo by octopus/caveman (@octopuscaveman)Photo by octopus/caveman (@octopuscaveman)Photo by octopus/caveman (@octopuscaveman)Photo by octopus/caveman (@octopuscaveman)Photo by octopus/caveman (@octopuscaveman)Photo by octopus/caveman (@octopuscaveman)Photo by octopus/caveman (@octopuscaveman)Photo by octopus/caveman (@octopuscaveman)
My 5 year old son just asked “what if we put a slice of turkey in the DVD player and it played a movie about the turkey’s whole life” and none of the parenting books I’ve read have prepared me for this question.
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chris oldman © (@AlsikkanTV) profile picture
chris oldman ©@AlsikkanTV12h
Cat with a microphone in the Criterion Closet
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Les Américains quand ils voient un jeune avec des troubles mentaux
Ałeçtø🎶 (@Altrocius) profile pictureAłeçtø🎶@AltrociusOct 27
French people when they're asked about foods other than Baguette
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octopus/caveman retweeted
Jill (@11MyJam) profile picture
Jill
@11MyJam14h
Proud Mom 🥰
Image from Jill (@11MyJam)
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Tom Lazay (@tlazay) profile picture
Tom Lazay@tlazay20 Apr 2020
One of these two awesome birthday gifts from my wife was created by @OctopusCaveman! The other makes me invisible during Zoom meetings when I turn on my forest virtual background.
Image from Tom Lazay (@tlazay)
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This guy came to twitter, said what he needed to say, and just like that he was gone
Image from octopus/caveman (@octopuscaveman)
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Imagine sitting in a corner, just losing your religion and some asshole throws a spotlight on you.
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You know that guy in the McDonald’s bathroom who gives your penis a little shake after you pee? It turns out he doesn’t actually work there
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octopus/caveman retweeted
Kendricks Heart (@kendrickshearts) profile picture
Kendricks Heart@kendricksheartsOct 28
Middle age white woman accuses Drake of stealing her entire outfit
Image from Kendricks Heart (@kendrickshearts)
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Party Waffle (@PartyWaffle) profile picture
Party Waffle@PartyWaffleOct 27
Be the reason they whisper “yikes” while looking at their phone
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☣️JAZZY☣️ (@JudgementJazzy) profile picture
☣️JAZZY☣️@JudgementJazzyOct 27
Skyrim loading screens
octopus/caveman (@octopuscaveman) profile pictureoctopus/caveman@octopuscavemanOct 27
You can jack off in the bathrooms at Taco Bell
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cat memes (@hardcatmemes) profile picture
cat memes
@hardcatmemesOct 27
My cat was born with a mullet
Image from cat memes (@hardcatmemes)
Image from cat memes (@hardcatmemes)
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but you can never leave
octopus/caveman (@octopuscaveman) profile pictureoctopus/caveman@octopuscavemanOct 27
You can jack off in the bathrooms at Taco Bell
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Missy Martinez (@MissyXMartinez) profile picture
Missy Martinez@MissyXMartinezOct 27
Carhartt needs to make bra and panty sets
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You can jack off in the bathrooms at Taco Bell
🤝 Paid partnership
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Hard Pass (@HardPass4) profile picture
Hard Pass
@HardPass4Oct 27
I wonder what Jerimy is up to these days.
Image from Hard Pass (@HardPass4)
Special Ops Magazine (@specialopsmag) profile pictureSpecial Ops Magazine
@specialopsmagOct 27
Unhinged letters sent by school kids to US service members deployed overseas.
Image from Special Ops Magazine (@specialopsmag)
Image from Special Ops Magazine (@specialopsmag)
Image from Special Ops Magazine (@specialopsmag)
Image from Special Ops Magazine (@specialopsmag)
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tasman (@lildorothy_) profile picture
tasman
@lildorothy_Oct 27
killing two birds (hotdogs) with one stone (mouth)
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Freedom Kerl (@Freedomkerlrox) profile picture
Freedom Kerl
@FreedomkerlroxOct 27
Replying to @octopuscaveman
@octopuscaveman thanks man, shes a beaut!
Image from Freedom Kerl (@Freedomkerlrox)
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💕 (@janicesghost) profile picture
💕@janicesghostOct 27
This is what periods are like.
SentientBunnySuit🐰 (@SuitSentient) profile pictureSentientBunnySuit🐰@SuitSentientOct 27
I got that dog in me (werewolf currently biting me).
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Jenna SaysQuoi (@jennasaysquoi) profile picture
Jenna SaysQuoi@jennasaysquoi10 Sep 2023
how old were you when you realized skunks smell like that because they smoke weed?
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Don’t understand why I haven’t had a match on my dating profile. All of my pictures are me showing off all of my kitchen gadgets. I thought women liked a guy that can cook?
Image from octopus/caveman (@octopuscaveman)
Image from octopus/caveman (@octopuscaveman)
Image from octopus/caveman (@octopuscaveman)
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It’s the tea kettle isn’t it?
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