Josh Meyer

Doing my own plumbing has taught me so much. Most importantly, that I shouldn't be doing my own plumbing.

I'm in a debate over the ethics of dining and dashing. Everyone is taking sides. #lunchpun

I'd like to set the record straight that I will not be running for president in 2028, despite the rumors floating around that I started just now

Remember to set your expectations back this week

I've had regretted seconds at Golden Corral

Hating anyone is wasted energy that could have been used for praising God

I assume we're all in agreement that AI generated TV shows will be called slop operas

Are you a shared server? Cuz you're not very responsive. –Failed pickup line

You can avoid all car engine trouble by simply removing a single light bulb. Follow for more lifehacks.

The FedEx guy was delivering our new microwave, so I opened the door before he could ring the bell

If you can't handle me at my slop, you don't deserve me at my banger

I went to a gold trader to buy some bouillon. He said they were out of stock, but to try the supermarket down the street. #lunchpun

I got 95 theses, and hate ain't one

Lying about the size of your tibia is a shin

Anyone else notice the Jedi are dying off faster than the sith lords? I don't think the resistance can survive any more Star Wars films.

I lost yet again

Time to find a new pew

I had months of work ahead of me. It was done in 2 days. 100 email automations. 50+ languages. ~2,000 emails, each one localized. I didn't do it alone. Grok Bot built them while I slept. Grunt work is dead. You can use it for free 👇 grok.com/refer/bot?code=KM3R…

Lunch was good. Time to start fighting over what to have for dinner.

Supermarket challenge: who can fit the highest value of food in their mouth. What are you going with?