So today I reversed into a Porsche and my little seat won the battle, however the Porsche driver won the insurance war

We are lucky enough to get a Banksy on bankside for free but some people still moan , however the same people are happy with a blade in the centre of the city that cost thousands to to get it in to place.

Chemist at Asda to buy cream for my bad back, she said are you on any other medication? I replied just neat vodka, she replied use this cream and add tonic to the vodka. Classic

Bob Marley, no woman no cry

Random Tuesday quiz question! What artist/band made reference in the lyrics to porridge (the breakfast dish) a, the jam, b, bob Marley , c, the proclaimers ?? Bonus slap on the back if you can name the song it’s very famous!! Answer at eight

So one of the most prolific sex offenders is being realised after ten years, sorry can’t understand it...

Happy Christmas to my loyal followers hope you are having a wonderful day !

The Christmas period has arrived. Now it’s a waiting game, not for Santa but for which day I will become ill

For someone who is not keen on clutter Christmas is not ideal

Pipes frozen I have no water but have lots of wine so every cloud and all that!

Being a single parent I do find decorating a Christmas tree a challenge

Get ready for all the pictures of snow on Facebook

Need to go to the casino seem to run out of matches

Not letting any fireworks of this evening as I would sooner use this for a year, so doing my bit for climate change

So I live in the most haunted house in East Yorkshire and I always have sweets ready, but no one ever knocks on Halloween..spooky

Halloween the time for mums to show of there carved pumpkins and there little pumpkins dressed in there fancy dress and post on Facebook

I am debating with myself if I should get a sun bed to see me through the winter

This is who I used to follow before twitter #hofmeisterbeer

Seem to always ruin fries 🍟 I blame the red wine