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1Happytwit

@1Happytwit

I'm mildly amusing and vaguely interesting. Sometimes I eat crayons. https://teapawt.org/t.co/Hd9XlKpw03

 • Under your bed •
Joined September 2011
  • Tweets6.3K
  • Following6.2K
  • Followers19.8K
1Media
Photo by 1Happytwit (@1Happytwit)
If I tell you about my murder plan, you're already part of it.
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Don't tase me officer, I already have an erection
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Is the pandemic over yet?
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They say men aren't complicated but I'll be fucked if I can figure out how to put this one back together.
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You can trust me. I'm from the Internet.
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You're just one marble away from having one.
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Don't think of yourself as single, think of yourself as unsupervised and go hard.
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1Happytwit (@1Happytwit) profile picture
1Happytwit@1Happytwit7 Nov 2016
Once in your life, you'll come across a special person that makes you think the prison food will be worth it.
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Behind every broken heart is some crap story no one wants to hear.
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I don't know how it all works out in the end. I'm not ready for the end.
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You're a gift. Unfortunately you didn't come with an exchange receipt.
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1Happytwit (@1Happytwit) profile picture
1Happytwit@1Happytwit2 Dec 2016
Let's sit in a gutter and philosophise about life.
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Some days you’re desperate to be inspired and somehow your instincts keep you alert for that.
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I miss fun Twitter - it was always fuelled by anger and sadness but it produced laughter. Now with Trump and Brexit and Islamophobia it seems just vitriolic and decisive. I think we need a group hug.
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"...one for him, and eight for me." - Me, leaving Santa a Christmas whisky.
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There's someone for everybody .... just your someone is a psychiatrist. .
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HEART (@HeartSPL) profile picture
HEART@HeartSPL5 Feb 2014
the intelligent part of being smart is the not trying...
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Festus (@neledmax) profile picture
Festus@neledmax16 Dec 2017
The best part of some rides is when you can finally get off.
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Everybody’s a dickhead if you’ve had enough to drink.
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