
𖤐 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐆𝐨𝐝 𖤐 @iky_fwjett I write original fictional stories.
Joined August 2025
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6ɪx✦ retweeted
I Thought My Dad’s Neighbor Was Stealing His Money. Then He Told Me What My Dying Mom Had Done Behind My Back.
My friend's dad accidentally became the most popular person in his apartment building because he didn't understand the group chat.
Someone posted, “Does anybody have a ladder?”
He replied, “Yes.”
Then nothing.
The person eventually knocked on his door, borrowed the ladder, and returned it.
A few days later, somebody asked if anyone could help carry a sofa upstairs.
He replied, “Yes.”
He helped.
Then someone needed a ride to the hardware store.
“Yes.”
For about two months, this retired man responded to nearly every request with the same single word.
His daughter finally explained that he wasn't obligated to help everybody.
He looked offended.
“I know that.”
“Then why do you keep saying yes?”
He shrugged.
“People keep needing things I can do.”
Last month, the building organized a little birthday party for him in the lobby.
He showed up carrying extra folding chairs because he thought somebody might need them.
A guy on my flight spent fifteen minutes trying to convince the flight attendant that his seat was missing.
He had a boarding pass for 14F.
There was no 14F.
The row went A, B, C on one side and D, E on the other.
He kept saying, “But I paid for a window.”
The flight attendant checked his ticket, checked the seating chart, and called another crew member.
They were all confused.
Finally, the guy pulled out his phone to show the booking confirmation.
He'd booked two flights for the same day.
One was to Chicago.
The other was to Charlotte.
He was currently on the Chicago flight.
His seat was on the Charlotte flight.
The flight attendant went very quiet and asked, “Sir, where are you trying to go?”
He looked at her.
“Charlotte.”
She said, “Okay. We have a bigger problem than the window.”
Luckily, the plane hadn't left the gate.
I was at the grocery store when a random toddler ran up, hugged my leg, and screamed, "DADDY!" I'm a 26-year-old woman. His actual father came running over, apologized, and tried to pull him away. The kid refused and started crying, "NO, THIS IS MY REAL DADDY." Everyone was staring. His father looked genuinely offended. I crouched down and asked why he thought I was his dad. He pointed at my shoes and said, "Daddy has dinosaur shoes." We looked down. Same green dinosaur Crocs. His father quietly said, "I told my wife those were popular.”
My little brother got suspended in middle school for starting a cult. Not a real cult. A lunch cult. He convinced 27 kids that the school's chocolate milk tasted better if you shook it exactly 13 times while facing north. They started gathering behind the cafeteria every day to perform what they called "the milk ceremony." Teachers got suspicious when kids began chanting "DAIRY PROVIDES" during lunch. The principal called our parents. My brother's defense was that he'd improved milk sales by 40%. My dad said he couldn't punish that level of entrepreneurship.
6ɪx✦ retweeted
The angriest I've ever been at my sister lasted exactly eleven seconds, the time it took her to open her front door.
Would you have forgiven her?






