World Record Holder | Lover of Sports and Hater of Superhero Movies | Stock Photo Model | Won a Fantasy Football Game One Time.
Utah, USA
Joined August 2012
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If one of the two parties objectively made the majority of people's lives better, they would win every single election.
Instead, we just swing back and forth between the two desperately hoping "this time will be different"
Is it more fun or stressful to watch election results when you have a dog in the fight?
From my POV, there is only person on the ballot: an overspender completely disconnected from American life. But one wears a blue tie and the other a red one.
The ability to listen in to the referees during reviews is one of the biggest improvements to college football in a long time.
The sideline reporter for the New England game just said "He went to the sideline, tied a resistance bad around his neck, excuse me, sorry, waist..."
Holy slip-up Batman.
#NEvsJAX
Adam Durfee retweeted
Changing the stress on each of the seven words in the sentence: ‘I never said she stole your money,’ can yield seven different meanings.
Adam Durfee retweeted
Remarkable statistic:
Prior to Western Michigan, college football teams were 110,352 - 0 when leading after the end of regulation, dating back to 1869.
I don't know why anyone is surprised millennials have such a love for charcuterie. We were raised on lunchables.
It's a bad look for Belgium to act this way. Let England or another team with a player on a red suspension fight the battle. Belgium looks like a team worried they can't beat the US w/Balogun and that's not inspiring to their locker room and players.
Offering my gratitude to the @Delta employee who wouldn't let Flo Balogun's mother on the plane that led to his eligibility for Team USA.
Instead of trying to get an MLB team, Utah needs to just get a Banana Ball team and call them the Batter-day Saints.
I want to be president one day just so I can go make the secret service people go on runs with me like they do on the TV shows.
And also not go to war with Iran.
Adam Durfee retweeted
Teaching my daughter about payroll withholding
She did chores all week so I owe her $10
I hand her $7
> this isn't $10
"right, I withheld the rest"
> what does that mean
"I kept $3 of your money"
> but it's my money
"It was your money"
> what are you even doing with it?
"Funding household infrastructure"
> what
"The roof over your head. The hallway you walk through to get to the bathroom. The door locks that keep strangers out"
> you're charging me for the hallway
"I'm charging you for access to the hallway. The hallway itself was a capital expenditure"
> you're my dad. you're supposed to---
"I'm also your government"
> what if I don't want to pay for the hallway
"Then I can't guarantee the hallway"
> it's a hallway. It's already there
"For now"
She asks what else the $3 covers
"Meals, dispute resolution, nightlight maintenance"
> dispute resolution?
"When your brother takes your toys and I make him give them back. That's taxpayer funded"
> that's just parenting
"That's the Department of Justice"
> what about meals. You already feed me
"That's a social program. Not everyone qualifies"
> I'm your daughter
"Which is why you're currently enrolled"
She wants to see where the money goes
I tell her that would require a FOIA request
> what's that
"A form asking me to show you what I do with your money. Processing time is 6 to 8 weeks"
> 6 weeks to see where my $3 went?
"Could be longer. We're understaffed"
> there's two of you
She asks how she gets any of it back
"It's already spent"
> you spent my money already?
"We had a budget shortfall"
> you just took it 20 seconds ago
"And the deficit existed 30 seconds ago. The timing worked out"
> so I'm not getting it back
"I didn't say that. You might qualify for a refund"
> of my own money
"Correct. You just have to fill out a form telling me how much you made"
> you know how much I made. You paid me
"Right but I need you to tell me how much I paid you"
> so you already know the answer
"The point is compliance"
She asks what happens if she gets the number wrong
"Penalty"
> from the money I don't have because you already spent it?
"We could set up a payment plan"
> I'm 8
"Monthly installments. Very manageable"
> you're going to penalize me for getting wrong a number you already know and then make me pay you back with money you took from me
"Now you're getting it"
> I want to talk to mom
"Mom's not a qualified representative. She can't help you here"
She stormed off to her room saying how this is extortion
Slammed the door
That's my little citizen
I've never been more proud