Writer/Producer the Simpsons 1989-now Co-Creator the Critic Producer It’s Garry Shandling’s Show

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Joined April 2014
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I just spit out my water 🤣
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I got this joke when I was 8. The internet revealed to me that there are now 20 years old who don’t get it.
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Al Jean retweeted
Out of Context Simpsons Treehouse of Horror 🎃@OOCCouchGagsOct 24
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Love this. A fundraising campaign has launched to create a life-size statue of Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert at Prudential Plaza in Chicago. It will even have seats so you can be "At the Movies" with them! 👍🏻👍🏻 auction.siskelandebertstatue…
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When you make yourself a pawn, you dishonor the collar.
NEW: Denver Archbishop James Golka distanced himself on Friday from the White House video of him praying over President Trump, saying he had expected a private meeting. He stopped short of apologizing. He told the Denver Catholic he is “heartbroken that people are hurt,” then accused some Catholics of using the moment to sow disunity. The division came from the photo op itself, staged in the Oval Office 12 days before an election. None of the other 11 bishops has responded to requests for comment. thelettersfromleo.com/p/arch…
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We just saw the dumbest play call in Michigan football history. Trailing Indiana 6-0, UM has third and goal from the 1. OC Jason Beck calls for freshman Tommy Carr to roll out and try to hit the Rhino guy, Beigel. Sacked. Missed FG. That's arrogance and stubborness from Beck.
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Al Jean retweeted
Out of Context Simpsons Treehouse of Horror 🎃@OOCCouchGagsOct 24
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I have yet to see a Muslim politician trying to force their religion on the rest of America. Know what I have seen? Christian politicians repeatedly pushing their religious beliefs into our laws, our schools, and our personal lives.
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The Atlanta Falcons preparing for the 49ers this weekend:
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"Well, gee, Mulder. There's also this report of a shipment of drugs and illegal weapons coming into New Jersey tonight." "Ugh, I hardly think the F.B.I.'s concerned with matters like that!"
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In 1941, a Spaniard walked into the British embassy in Madrid and offered to spy on the Nazis. The British turned him down. So he went to the Germans instead, pretended to be a loyal fascist, and got hired as a German spy. His plan was to lie to them for the rest of the war. It worked better than anyone could have imagined. His name was Juan Pujol García. Before the war he had tried his hand at running a chicken farm and a movie theater. He had no spy training. What he had was a deep hatred of both fascism and communism after the Spanish Civil War, and an incredible imagination. The Germans gave him a codename, invisible ink, money, and orders to go to Britain and recruit spies. He didn't go to Britain. He went to Lisbon, Portugal, and made everything up. Using a tourist guidebook, maps, magazines, newsreels, and a British railway timetable from the library, he wrote long, detailed reports about life in England. Military movements. Morale. Ports. He'd never been there. He made mistakes. He didn't understand British money. He once reported that dockworkers in Glasgow would do anything for a liter of wine. The Germans loved him anyway. Then British codebreakers reading German messages noticed something strange. The Germans were hunting for a convoy that didn't exist, based on a report from some agent in Britain they'd never heard of. The British went looking for this mystery spy. They found Pujol. In 1942 they finally took him on and brought him to London. Now he had real help. MI5 gave him the codename Garbo, after the actress, because they thought he was the greatest actor in the world. Together with his British handler, Pujol built a fake spy network for the Germans. It eventually had 27 imaginary agents. Each had a name, a personality, a job, and a backstory. A Welsh nationalist. A Venezuelan student. A Greek sailor. Some of them recruited their own imaginary sub-agents. When they needed to explain why one agent had gone quiet, they killed him off. They even put a fake obituary in a Liverpool newspaper. The Germans reportedly paid a pension to his widow. Who also didn't exist. Then came D-Day. Hours before the landings, the British let Pujol send a message warning the Germans that the invasion was coming in Normandy. It was timed so it would arrive too late to matter, but it made him look brilliant. Three days later he sent the most important message of his career. Normandy was a trick, he said. The real invasion was still coming, at Calais, led by a huge army under General Patton. That army was fake too. But the Germans believed him. German forces that could have been rushed to Normandy were held back near Calais for weeks, waiting for an attack that never came. The Germans were so grateful they awarded him the Iron Cross. A few months later, King George VI made him a Member of the Order of the British Empire. He's one of the only people known to have been decorated by both sides of the war. After the war, afraid of revenge from surviving Nazis, he faked his own death from malaria in Africa and disappeared to Venezuela, where he lived quietly running a shop. For decades the world thought he was dead. In 1984, a British writer tracked him down. Pujol came back to Normandy for the 40th anniversary of D-Day and met veterans who had landed on the beaches. Some of them thanked him.
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I texted my children that we got the puppy they’ve been begging me for and sent them a link with pictures. 🐶When they clicked on the link, it took them to a webpage that said YOU’RE GROUNDED. They’ll be spending the weekend retaking our family’s cybersecurity training course.
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Al Jean retweeted
DiscussingFilm
@DiscussingFilmOct 24
The Simpsons' new ‘TREEHOUSE OF HORROR’ episode includes a stop-motion sequence inspired by ‘THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS’.
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Falcons better not get any ideas
The #Bears will give out fake mustaches to all fans Thursday night ahead of their game vs. the #Patriots as part of their plan to honor former player and coach Mike Ditka, who died earlier this month, per @SunTimes. Tonight is Chicago’s first home game since Ditka's passing.
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Al Jean retweeted
Nobody is saying “the Knicks should never do phishing tests.” We’re saying “teasing employees with information about rings they earned but may not receive is unnecessarily cruel.” Because it is. Have a shred of respect for the people who work for you.
Replying to @SamQuinnCBS
it's standard cybersecurity practice. I've received 3 phishing test emails this week alone from my employer. It's cybersecurity awareness month. Seems bad and silly but this is exactly how hackers breach your network. I've seen multimillion data breaches happen this way.
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I’ve seen some tawdry attempts at political gotchas and takedowns before, but “Why did you take 3 years to report being sexually abused by your stepfather when you were 9?” is about as low as it gets
Hey Amy, you’ve really confused me, and millions like me! 🛑 You said you were sexually abused between the ages of 9 and 12 by your stepfather! Why didn’t you tell anyone for three years—a schoolteacher, your doctor, Why did you wait three years? Why did your own biological father allow that to happen for all three years? STRANGE! 🛑 You’ve said your mother knew about the sexual abuse. Why would she do that? I mean, what would she gain? 🛑 Your mother is a very well-educated woman with a master’s degree in public administration and worked at Children and Family Associates in one of the first few sexual abuse programs! How did she end up getting that job helping victims of sexual abuse? I don’t understand! 🛑 Your mother gave an interview calling you a liar and disputing all your claims in June 2020. Why didn’t you respond publicly at that time? 🛑 This is very difficult for me to understand: you said you “did have food to eat.” 🛑 Was your stepfather convicted? Are there any court documents or police reports? I mean court documents or police reports—NOT A COMMUNITY NOTE, PLEASE! & Strangely: 🛑 Where in that ad does your mother say anything about your sexual abuse? She just denied your claim of living in a tent! Why did you connect that to your claim of sexual abuse? She never used the words “sexual abuse”—at least in this video! We all sympathize with any difficulties you’ve gone through. BUT… 🛑 Why don’t you hold a press conference and explain all this to the people of Ohio and all of us who are concerned? FINALLY: 🛑 Do you want Ohioans to vote for you just because of your unverified claim of a difficult childhood 50 years ago? 🛑
Readers added context they thought people might want to know
Court records corroborate Amy Acton’s account. In 1978, her stepfather, Cledith Arthur, was arrested and indicted by a grand jury on charges of sexually abusing 12-year-old Acton. politifact.com/article/2026/o… ohiocapitaljournal.com/2026/10/20/dem…
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You've got to watch this whole thing. Generational talent. I've only ever seen this once before.
El-Sayed: "We had a little debate. Or I had a debate and he just pointed at me and said, 'He's Muslim.'"
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Yes, I spoke out about the voting machine I cast my vote on the first day of early voting in Tennessee. Yes, the button kept flipping up to the wrong candidate three times. Yes, I called on a very nice poll worker who stood there until it worked on the third try.
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Al Jean retweeted
This has a nice ring to it… 
Congrats to Kevin McGonigle on being named The Sporting News AL Rookie of the Year 🏆
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