The Ragged Trousered Bollardiste. retweeted
Replying to @lembitopik
Holy fucking hell. This thread is a case study in how conspiracy theories manufacture themselves.
What actually happened:
An overcrowded migrant boat was detected approaching Portsmouth. French and British authorities tracked it. Coastguard, RNLI, Border Force, police and ambulances responded. It was brought ashore and coaches took the occupants for processing.
What Twitter apparently heard:
“THE GOVERNMENT PLANNED THE WHOLE THING. TREASON. FREEMASONS.”
😂
Apparently having coaches ready after the authorities have spent hours tracking a boat carrying 100+ people is now proof that the Government organised the crossing.
By that logic, an ambulance waiting outside a football stadium proves the NHS organised the broken leg. Or a fire brigade arriving prepared for a fire proves they started the fire.
The French weren’t simply “waving them off” either. French authorities are currently stopping a higher proportion of attempted crossings, and overall small-boat arrivals are substantially down this year.
But facts are apparently rather boring compared with:
“What’s the end game?”
“State-sponsored operation!”
“TREASON!”
“Freemasonic agenda!”
And Lembit Öpik — a former Liberal Democrat MP, for fuck’s sake — is now calling desperate people “intruders” who should simply be expelled without even acknowledging that asylum claims and refugee protection actually exist in British law.
Nobody is required to like irregular migration. Nobody has to pretend the small-boats problem isn’t serious.
But there is an enormous intellectual gulf between:
“The Government’s immigration policy is failing”
and
“THE GOVERNMENT IS SECRETLY IMPORTING MIGRANTS TO DESTROY THE RIGHT.”
The first is a political argument. Albeit a misguided one as the monthly figures continue to show a significant downward trend.
The second is evidence-free paranoid bullshit.
And watching people build it collaboratively in real time is absolutely extraordinary.
I like to imagine this is what @JamesBlunt does to people who get upset at his tweets.
Dear @sainsburys ,you might want to rethink your choice of font.
Quote it instead, I find that works for me.
Replying to @policylaila @brexitblog_info
Have you ever tried to reply to anything
Sadiq Khan has posted on X…??
It’s virtually impossible.!
You take the time to read it and reply
Only to get the message that
“only some accounts can reply”
So he can create and manipulate the Narrative
& block all unfavourable replies!
I'm so looking forward to the moment all these patriots realise that their traditional "Christian" values mean TKMaxx will be shut on a Sunday.
The Ragged Trousered Bollardiste. retweeted
Replying to @Panchenko_X
🛑 Fact-Check: The "Kyiv Bentley" Narrative
Diana Panchenko’s recent post is a masterclass in using "Zombie Stats"—old, out-of-context data resurrected to mislead. Here is the reality:
1. The "Third in Europe" claim is 4 years old
The "ranking" she is referring to isn't about total cars sold. In 2021, Bentley Kyiv won an internal "Best of Sales" award because they exceeded their annual target (which was roughly 30–60 cars).
• Winning a performance award for selling 50 cars in a small market is not the same as being the #3 consumer of Bentleys in Europe.
• For comparison, in 2023, Bentley sold over 2,300 cars across Europe. Kyiv’s tiny fraction doesn't even put it in the top 10 cities by volume.
2. Luxury sales are actually DOWN
Actual import data from 2025 and 2026 shows that luxury car demand in Ukraine has plummeted compared to pre-war levels.
• In the first half of 2025, only 131 luxury cars (subject to luxury tax) were imported into the entire country—a 3.4x decrease from the previous year.
• The "top" brands aren't Bentleys; they are Porsche and Mercedes-Benz, largely driven by the pre-existing wealthy elite and a massive surge in electric vehicle (EV) tax exemptions.
3. The "90 Billion" Non-Sequitur
The post implies Western aid is being spent on $400,000 cars.
• The Math: Even if 100 people in Kyiv bought a new Bentley (which hasn't happened), that would total roughly $25 million.
• That is 0.02% of the aid mentioned. To suggest a few luxury cars in a city of 3 million people proves "90 billion" is being stolen is like seeing one person buy a steak and claiming the entire city's food bank is a fraud.
4. Who is buying these cars?
Ukraine has a significant pre-war IT sector and agricultural elite. These individuals already owned high-end vehicles. In fact, many "new" luxury cars seen in Kyiv today are:
• Gray imports (used cars from the US/EU).
• Transfers from owners moving their assets from occupied territories.
• EVs imported to take advantage of zero-VAT laws.
Summary: This post takes a 2021 sales award, inflates the price of the cars by 100%, and ties it to 2026 aid packages to manufacture outrage. It’s not journalism; it’s a math error wrapped in a grievance. #FactCheckUkraine #ZombieStats #MediaLiteracy #NAFO
Flag shaggers, too busy painting crosses on roundabouts to put a cross on a ballot paper. #GortonDentonByElection
The Ragged Trousered Bollardiste. retweeted
Just want to say always trust the nhs. They were excellent removing a mole from my arse. Unlike the RSPCA who will prosecute me if I do it again.
Maybe because later studies have shown a reduced risk?
bjsm.bmj.com/content/58/7/36…
Care to comment?
Tweet of the year...
#daleksatpollingstations – at Southall, London
This Post is from an account that no longer exists. Learn more
The Ragged Trousered Bollardiste. retweeted
🚨 NEW: The Green Party 2024 manifesto in full
Immigration:
- End immigration detention unless a public safety danger
- Allow asylum seekers to work during application process
- End the hostile environment
- Remove minimum income requirements for spouse visas
- Provide safe routes for those fleeing persecution
- Replace the Home Office with a new Department of Migration
- Abolish 'no recourse to public funds' condition
Nuclear weapons and NATO:
- Dismantle nuclear weapons, cancel Trident, remove foreign nukes
- UK to sign the UN Treaty on the Prohibition of Nuclear Weapons (TPNW)
- Increase focus on global peacebuilding
- Commit to 'No First Use' of nuclear weapons
Climate aid:
- Increase international aid to 1% of GNI by 2033
- Increase climate finance for Global South to 1.5% of GNI by 2033
- Contribute to a new Loss and Damage Fund
Social support:
- Increase Universal Credit and legacy benefits by £40 a week
- Abolish the two-child benefit cap
- End the ‘bedroom tax’
- Introduce universal basic income
- Restore disability benefits, immediate 5% uplift
- Reform eligibility tests like PIP
- Free transport for 16-18 year old pupils with special needs
Housing:
- Spread small developments across local areas
- Ensure new developments include local service investments
- All new homes to meet Passivhaus or equivalent standards
- Include solar panels and heat pumps in new homes
£29bn over five years for home insulation to EPC B standard
- £4bn over five years for other building insulation
- £9bn over five years for low-carbon heating systems
- Provide 150,000 new social homes annually
- Implement rent controls and end no-fault evictions
- Tenants' right to demand energy efficiency improvements
- Private tenancy boards for dispute resolution
Democracy/human rights:
- Replace first past the post with proportional voting
- Replace House of Lords with elected chamber
- Votes for 16-year-olds
- End violence against women and girls
- Scrap laws eroding protest and free expression rights
- Support self-identification for trans and non-binary people
- Scrap Prevent, tackle hate crime and restore trust in police
- Invest £2.5bn in renewing the court system
Energy:
- 70% of UK electricity from wind by 2030
- Deliver 80GW offshore, 53GW onshore wind, and 100GW solar by 2035
- Invest in energy storage and efficient distribution
- Community ownership of energy sources
- Cancel recent fossil fuel licenses, stop new projects
- Remove oil and gas subsidies
- Introduce carbon tax on fossil fuels
Economy:
- Invest £40bn annually in green economy
Introduce carbon tax
- Public ownership of railways, water, and major energy companies
- Invest £12.4bn in skills and training for green economy
- Encourage community ownership in energy projects
Implement Wealth Tax on high-value assets
- Reform Capital Gains Tax
- Align tax rates on investment and employment income
- Remove Upper Earnings Limit for National Insurance
- Set up regional mutual banks
- Provide £2bn annually for business decarbonisation grants
- Encourage community ownership in zero-carbon transition
International:
- End occupation of Palestinian land
- Uphold self-determination and international law
- Support Ukraine against Russian invasion
- Re-join the EU when politically feasible
- Bilateral ceasefire
- End arms sales to Israel
- Secure release of hostages
- Ensure equal rights for Israelis and Palestinians
- Reinstate funding for UNRWA, support South Africa’s ICJ submission
Education:
- Abolish university tuition fees
- Increase school funding by £8bn, with £2bn for teacher pay
- End high-stakes testing in all schools
- Abolish OFSTED
Work:
- Repeal anti-union laws, introduce Charter of Workers’ Rights
- Implement 10:1 pay ratio
- Raise minimum wage to £15/hour
- Equal employment rights from day one
- Move to a four-day work week
Health:
-New NHS dentists’ contrac taiting lists annually
- Guarantee access to NHS dentist
- Guarantee rapid GP access
- Boost NHS staff pay, restore junior doctors’ pay
- Increase primary medical care funding by £1.5bn by 2030
- Restore public health budgets with £1.5bn annual increase
- Fund smoking cessation, drug treatment, and sexual health services
- National Commission to reform UK drug laws
-New NHS dentists’ contract
- Invest £3bn annually in NHS dentistry by 2030
- Fund community hubs for free dental nursing
- Support mental health rights
- Increase mental health care funding
- Access to evidence-based mental health therapies within 28 days
- Trained counsellor in every school and sixth-form college
- Tailored mental health services for diverse communities
- Support for neurodivergent children in schools
- Legalise assisted dying
- Aim for no more HIV transmissions by 2030
Caring:
- Introduce free personal care
- Increase pay rates and career structure for carers
- Add £3bn for high-quality children's social care
Arts, sports and culture:
- Invest £5bn in community sports, arts, and culture
- Keep local facilities open
- Remove VAT on cultural activities
- Limit media ownership to 20%
- Implement 2012 Leveson Report reforms
Animals:
- Create Commission on Animal Protection
- Ban all blood sports
- Protect marine life in UK waters
- End badger culling
- End factory farming, enforce maximum stocking densities
- Ban close confinement and unnecessary mutilation of farm animals
Transport:
- Increase subsidies for rail and bus travel to £10bn
- Free bus travel for under-18s
- Invest £19bn in foot/cycle paths and electrification
- Public ownership of railways
- Increase local control and funding for bus services
- Aim for 50% of trips in towns/cities to be walked or cycled by 2030
- Introduce frequent-flyer levy
- Ban short domestic flights
- Halt airport expansion
Nature:
- Introduce Rights of Nature Act
- End sewage discharge by taking water companies public
- Expand access to green spaces with Right to Roam Act
- Protect 30% of land and seas by 2030
- Ban bee-killing pesticides
- Enact Clean Air Act for the right to clean air
Agriculture/farming:
- Triple financial support for green farming transition
Improve biodiversity and soil health
- Reduce pesticide use
- Provide free school meals daily to all children
- Offer free breakfast clubs in primary schools
- Include food growing, preparing, and cooking in curriculum
- Reduce food waste
"We are prepared to borrow to invest."
The singular most powerful piece of television I have ever watched. It was, it is, physical, like a baseball bat to the chest. #DoctorWho – at Southall, London
Just watched #TheApprentice, the losing team was criticised for not showing the vehicle moving.
The only problem was, I went to the UK launch of that vehicle last year and it was a non-working mockup. – at Southall, London
Fire in abandoned flats in Perivale, West London.
@BBCLondonNews
So why is no one talking about Kate Lethbridge Stewart picking up the Toymaker's Master-containing gold tooth? #DoctorWho




















