Amy Shanker

When I was 10, my gym teacher pulled the girls aside and told us if a man ever puts us in an uncomfortable position and we can’t get away, squeeze his balls until we feel bubbles. And this was the only time that I didn’t ask when I’ll ever need this. I was 10. I loved bubbles.

I’d like to see the essays from the @Cornell 7 #releasetheessays

Name the greediest airline that won’t let you pick a seat if you fly the lowest fare bc they want to squeeze more $$ out of you by putting you in a middle seat by the bathroom & why is it @SouthwestAir and why was this BASIC ticket $290 ONE way (Aus-NYC) Switching to @united

In another timeline, Elon Musk is homeless.

I’ve trying to get a biopsy for a month and I can’t. I have insurance @unitedhealthcare-not 1 dr will take me. I’ve called United several times. They have no issue billing me every month but refuse to give me the benefits I pay for. So I guess I either do or don’t have cancer.

Hey if @BillGates could stop 💀people testifying against him, he may look more innocent jkjkjkjkjk

I bet insects look at humans every day and are like…these guys are too big

Honestly, a relief knowing today’s beauty standards were made by child lovers.

#badbunny ftw

Trump to Iran: You can’t kill your protesters. That’s my thing.

Iran wanting to execute #ErfanSoltani is a prime example of why this regime should be taken tf down and should have never been allowed to be in power in the first place.

Sucks we can’t call ice bosses and be like “hey so one of your employees is like super racist….”

We have to space out the raptures better guys