Being a dad is a lot like telling your family that you hate the song Sweet Caroline and then it immediately becomes everyone in the house favorite song

Nobody falls over an already tackled player better than Alex Anzalone.

Paying BIG money for these fumbles

Today I saw a duck with a bunch of rubber jeeps on its bill.

Happy Father’s Day @GoDaddy

Make water blue, again, again

Congrats Nicks! @nickkroll @nickthune @nickjonas @NICKIMINAJ @Nickelodeon @Nickelback @NickCannon @NicholasSparks

.@RealCapnCrunch it’s been like 30 years, stop with the “Opps” nonsense and figure out what’s causing the All Berries.

My picks for the 152nd running Kentucky Derby. Favorites Horson Welles Taco Neck Syndrome Shiplap Deep Bunker Bombs Underdogs Dick Clark’s Arbor Rockin’ Day Teflon Seed Oils Daughter of a Bitch Don’t believe the hype Macro Plastics Applebees 2 for $25 Red light therapy

UK’s stock market must be under performing.

One night a year it becomes the Halloween candy bowl.

Why are they not firing the cannons!? #StadiumSeries #GoBolts

Today was a great day for the microplastics industry. Great job guys!

Despite all of the hurricane clean up, today was still 10/10

Who’s gonna carry the logs?!

Crazy hurricane yesterday and today is one of the nicest days of the year. That is some incredible weather manipulation.

The fall colors are really showing off

Not now Isaac, don’t you know that we’re in the middle of a hurricane!

Hurricane Helene update: bands are coming through, it’s starting to eat cats and dogs out there.

That’s nice, you look like a Helene. Helene, here’s why I suck as a salesman.