🇺🇸 Patriot. Anti-Communist. Metalhead. Pulp Sci-Fi and Comic Book Enthusiast. Proud ally of bisexual women ✊️
Joined June 2022
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One of the hazards of Halloween is when the local hoodlums open up your pristinely carved Jack o' Lantern and fill it to the brim with their semen. Thankfully that didn't happen this year
I was born too late to experience '70s punk chicks, '80s metal chicks, or '90s grunge chicks, but I may have been born just in time to experience a chick who larps as those things on Instagram
I don't know anything about history and this is my Tweet.
Okay so here’s why we’re screwed.
White people are basically like these silly little teletubby things who evolved to live in tubby world.
Their naïveté and impartiality is absolutely wonderful because everyone loves everyone, and then they help their neighbors build a shed, and then they buy their teenager a used car that has no odometer fraud, and then they hire whoever is best for a job no matter what they look like, and then they all hold hands and chant Dahoo Dores on Christmas Eve.
But they have this adorable little habit of letting giant maggots and death eaters into tubbyland because they look so so sad in maggot death land :(
The new guys then immediately act as a cohesive unit and seize power to begin consuming tubby flesh while the silly tubbies run around saying “beep boop I voted for mr Satan Deathpants. He’s gonna give tubby babies free candy!😊”
A few tism-tubbies meet in a secret home called X dot com and fall to their knees and pray for Hitlertubby to show up and do a tubbycäust (mass tubbyportations).
While all the normies hangout on tubbytok and get so so angry at the tism-tubbies because why wouldn’t you want FREE CANDY for BABIES?!
Inside me there are two wolves: "The Great Khans suck and it's stupid to feel sorry for them, Bitter Springs was justified" and "The Great Khans are cool and I like buying chems from them"
Nothing like heading to the cattle fields with a Dane axe and feeling that hot viscera rain down upon your face...
I wish Fallout let you target enemies' genitals in VATS. Imagine shooting a Raider's penis clean off
I can't even check the mail anymore without getting fucked up by the Terror Bird my neighbors keep in their front yard
"It's OVER for us this time, the 1000-year wokereich begins NOW" is just the right's version of end times prophecies, except we do it every few months instead of every century.
I have a severe crush on a female mutual but I have literally no idea how to tell her, and the last two times I met a girl on Twitter it didn't work out at all.
Much like me, Alexander the Great couldn't get to sleep unless he was pretending to snuggle his waifu
Playing Out Zone and Truxton and Star Force and 1943 while listening to the Metal Massacre compilations from the '80s and drinking Rolling Rock after Rolling Rock
My favorite Megadeth song is "Holy Wars... The Punishment Due", but the one I relate to the most is "502" because it's about my favorite extreme sport, reckless driving. It even has a line that describes my diet: "... cigarettes and burgers, caffeine and alcohol... "
When I was a kid, I never really mixed my toys, though my army men did fight my dinosaurs on occasion