Rest doesn't fix this kind of tired. You can take a week off work and still spend it worrying about who's upset with you. So the next time you do something so nobody gets upset, ask yourself: Do I actually want to do this, or am I afraid of what will happen if I don't?

Getting everything done doesn't mean you're okay. Before you say yes, ask yourself one question. Do I actually want to do this, or am I afraid of what will happen if I don't?

Were you told to stop playing and get back to studying? Being asked to finish homework is not the same as never being allowed to play. Schoolwork mattered, but you also needed time to do things just because you enjoyed them.

Were your parents more worried about looking bad than about you being upset? You were a child who needed help, not an embarrassment to manage. Distress deserved attention even when other people could see it.

Did your parents ever take an interest in what you loved? If they did not, you still deserved their interest. They did not have to share your hobby to ask what you liked about it and listen to your answer.

Did you beg your parent to speak to you again? You should not have had to beg for a response. A parent can say they need a break and explain when they will return. Refusing to speak until you give in is something different.

The ways you protect yourself just to get through the day may be costing you more than you realize. My goal isn't to get people to stop protecting themselves. It's to help them build a life where feeling okay doesn't cost so much of who they are.

Were you expected to smile even when you were angry? You could be angry and still treat people with respect. Expecting you to smile was different from asking you not to hurt anyone.

Some people are still reacting to danger that has passed. Others are still living in conditions that require protection. The answer isn't the same for both.

Did you have to be sick before anyone took care of you? You needed attention when you were well, too. Someone could listen to your problems or spend time with you without waiting for you to become ill.