I am so sorry for what I said. I truly didn't realize how much meaning was behind the words I was saying. After talking with a lot of people I realize how ignorant I was. I need some time to think and reflect. Words don't express how bad I feel right now. I'm really so stupid. I'm very scared right now. I'll do my very best to do better. For those of you wondering... I want to add context because I see people saying that I am unapologetic when I truly am. I apologized multiple times on stream. Earlier I had a stream I'm not very proud of. A rap song was requested with some explicit lyrics with the soft version of the n word and people were telling me to sing along to the song. This started people saying racial jokes in the chat and I regrettably leaned into it and joking with everyone. I really thought it was fine without the hard R like in the song. I really don't mean to hurt anybody saying these things. I know what I did was wrong. I should be more responsible with what I say.