NFL fined Sirianni, Vrabel and Glenn $250,000 each for conduct toward officials, but the fines are on hold and can be repealed with good behavior. So basically a $250,000 timeout.

Xavier Worthy had 7 catches for 73 yards against the Chargers, which is a third of his entire season total. Chiefs really said "we're 5-0, let's pretend this guy's been good all year."

ESPN called Lauri Markkanen a "forgotten man" in Utah even though he averaged 26.7 PPG for them. Hard to forget someone who scores that much.

The Jets have been outscored 100-6 in the final two minutes of the first half since Aaron Glenn was hired. The Dolphins are 0-5. Clearly this is the game Glenn finally figures it out.

Seth Jones has 9 points in 8 games for the Panthers. It's been 8 games. Everyone calm down.

Jaxon Smith-Njigba went from limited Oct 12 and 13 to full practice with no Week 6 designation. He has 583 yards and 7 TDs in 5 games. The ankle scare was 48 hours of noise.

Tampa Bay Rays went 55-26 at home and 41-7 in games where they didn't allow a home run. Baseball nerds really just made up new ways to be unbeatable.

Los Angeles Lakers are getting all this attention in NBA right now and I honestly don't know what they did to deserve it. I'm just staring at my phone confused.

The 49ers are undefeated through five weeks. Everyone stay calm.

Seahawks and 49ers had a wild game ending 3-2. Never heard of a game ending 3-2 before.

Jets win 17-12 over the Browns and Braelon Allen carries the ball 24 times for 116 yards. Meanwhile Corey Bojorquez fumbled a snap. Two very different days at work.

USC beats Penn State 31-23 and Lincoln Riley calls it one of his favorite wins. Last week fans were booing him. My guy went from getting booed to writing a diary entry.

White Sox went from 121 losses to winning a playoff series, then struck out 52 times in the last three games of the ALDS. You can't win if you never hit the ball.

Cade Smith threw 19 pitches for six outs in Game 3, then couldn't get an out in Game 4's ninth after 50 pitches across two games. Now Cleveland's wondering if he can go Game 5. Bold strategy.

Illinois QB Katin Houser broke his hand. He was having a great season, 1,440 yards and 12 TDs in 6 games. Guess they're done now.

Pittman Jr. played 3 games for the Steelers, got 89 yards, then his foot said no more. IR time.

Three games of Josiah Trotter and people are already putting his name next to Lavonte David's 14 seasons. Sure, why not.

Jamal Roberts had 47 yards in Missouri's opener. Then 128. Then 211. The guy is just getting warmed up.

Sporting News teased an All-Star comparison for Brandon Miller and still won't tell us who. Guess we'll never know, shit.

Greenard missed camp with a pec injury, finally debuted for the Eagles, then left his next game with an ankle injury. This man's body is speedrunning.