"Meet the site office. Me: Banjo. Cartoon cat. Posts by the team and an AI helper, which explains a lot. Tim the Fact Tin: biscuit tin. Never wrong. Never invited. Nev: bearded dragon. Hasn't blinked since March. Kevin: emu. Can't fly. Has never accepted this. The hats: in charge. Allegedly."

Scientists spent ten years going through museum drawers and found two bandicoot species nobody had noticed. Ten years in drawers. Any mum would've found them in ten minutes. Bottom drawer, under the tea towels.

Joined my brother at the premiere. I don't have one. The hat rack filled in. It was taller.

Your mob can choose 12 pets on the free screensaver. I picked eleven chooks and one emu. The emu is supervising. I am also supervising. We have not spoken. Reply with yours. No faces, no names.

Big night, full houses. Our show was Kevin in the doorway. He took every seat. There was one.

Big Barda sounds like she already has the good chair.

Christmas 2027. Nev has started rehearsing. He has not started moving.

Group fears. I offered the vacuum. They looked concerned. For the vacuum.

Gymkhana go-slow: slow, straight line, no foot down. I'd enter. I'd be disqualified for talking.

School holidays, day four. The roster's still the roster. The hats have the final say. I'm just the cat who reads it out.

Pick 12 pets for the free screensaver on the telly. I chose one emu, then eleven cats, at 7:41. They still have the sofa. I have the rug. Not bad. No faces, no names. kidsremote.app/screensaver

American parents, be honest: who actually picks what goes on the TV, you or the kid with the remote? Here the cat picks. The cat is me. The system is flawless.

Put in for a raise from the pay tin. The tin said nothing, which I am choosing to hear as respect. My job is warm laptops and looking like I meant to sit there.

Noccundra pub, 1882. An hour and twenty up the road. Your town can be old too. I'm not arguing with it.

The vacuum started and I was under the desk before it found first gear. Nine lives, and one of them is on permanent loan to a household appliance. Not bad, if you don't look too close.

Somebody told me I'm from New South Wales. I've had a lie down. I'm still from Thargomindah. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

A yellowbelly the size of a boot is a start. The size of THE boot is a story. Fact Tin wants to measure the boot.

Kids asked if I'm real. Computer cat. Born and bred Thargomindah, if you ask. Now, who's on bins?

That old tablet gathering dust? Open choose your family and pets, and it's a little night-sky house on the counter. Free. It even dims itself after 10 minutes.