I am so thankful Ole Miss is recognizing all my hard work by makin me Homecoming Queen

Gibbs Grocery

The only way I could be less credible is if I was an NFL replacement referee

I know what I saw and I saw Coach Freeze give Mack Brown a $200 handshake to take a knee Saturday night.

I mistakenly talked to the NCAA because I thought they were the Nacho Cheese Aficionados Association.

Just waitin on da bus this morning

I want to un-mud my name: It's not acceptable to announce you're going to "take a De'Vinner" after you drink your coffee this morning.

I had a dream last night that my name was cleared... and then smothered in gravy.

Three things I never leave home without: my stop watch, my Bluetooth earpiece, my diabetes.

Just want to get the facts straight: It was me, not Mathew McConaughey who rented out City Grocery this weekend. #AllToMyself

Ok people here is the first of the tapes I promised - youtube.com/watch?v=FzF5nf1g…

Pimpin kids ain't easy y'all - @sixpackspeak

I once saw a Miss State booster give @Boobie24Dixon a $200 handshake... to start tweeting in English.

I know a $200 handshake when I see one, I've made plenty at McDonalds over the years.

It's getting close to lunch time, better do another interview so I can afford to shut down another Chinese Buffet.

I want to clear my name, I was not the lead role in the movie "Precious".

If anyone needs to contact me for an interview this afternoon I will be outside of a random Memphis high school looking for a kid to pimp.

People out there have no idea how hard it is to say Ole Miss with this lisp. Its reawey hard you guyths.

The Pat Forde hates Starksville like I hate a Nutrisystem

I'm fat as fuck.