@CardsCanTalk

Bringing straight dickheat. Parody Account. im probably drunk on Beer and/or Bourbon. Follow me here and on Instagram if you can take the heat

 Wherever you go, there you are
Joined August 2020
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  • Following294
  • Followers137
318Media
Nothing goes harder than this muhfcvka hitting a lung dart in between innings and then telling Barry Bonds to fuckin hustle
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Melido, you're in the American Fcvkin League. You can toss that cottdamm batting glove...
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If a flamingo had a jerry-curl and a 94mph fastball....
Cecilio also used that hat to catch minnows before a fcvkin fishing trip
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Yeah right in that muhfcvka's face!
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Rated what? 'H' for high as a muhfcvka?
Roberto also ate nachos out of that same fuckin helmet....
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Julio watched John Olerud rake for years so he decided he'd wear a fcvkin helmet at second base....
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Equipment MGR: " what size hat you want Bo?" --I play catcher you fcvk!!! "Geez sorry, here's a cottdamm trucker hat you angry bastard"
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Ken hit 27 dingers in 1987 and gave out free mustache rides to the ladies every time he hit one.
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Manny fcvkin Ramirez playing for the Youth Service League was more unfair than Matthew McConaughey on Prom Night. Good luck getting that dickheat out your system by Sunday morning
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If These Cards Could Talk retweeted
Super 70s Sports
@Super70sSports1 Oct 2020
“Tom, your new album cover photo shoot is tomorrow. What are we doing for wardrobe?” “Give me something that says I’m on active duty in the Revolutionary War but also Prince’s stepfather who taught him everything he knows about pussy.”
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Name: Klesko Age: 25 Sex: yes please HR: 34 Height: 6'3" Weight: 220 Feet: HR distance or dick size? Accomplishments: I get laid like concrete and dickslap baseballs 400+ feet Favorite food: Hanging curve balls Hometown: Your mom's house
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Seen here in the wild, a rare Otis Nixon is playing for the Dodgers at 138 years old. It's second all time to Jonathan the tortoise who turned 187 in 2019 and is still hitting better than Joey Gallo
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*Otis fcvkin Nixon.
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"You ever heard the expression, Fucked up like a football bat!" "a what? Do those exist?" "Meet Brian Jordan..."
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Billy literally walked around in public like this after his dickheat got 6 women pregnant and caught 14 hipsters on fire one night at a club in Houston
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He replaced Cal Ripken in Baltimore and Ryne Sandberg in Chicago. With a career slugging % of .320 we can thank Manny for showing us that dickheat doesn't always rub off
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Topps asked Scott to try and look less like a pedophile so he went ahead and put his ball cap on for the picture. I think it helped.....
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Every 8-12 yo in the early 90s had a bike that sounded like a motorcycle thanks to Goose fuckin Gozzo in the spokes
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You don't sport a mustache like that unless you bring the dickheat and have gigantic Quinones....
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