@Carpenterdf

Official World Record Holder. Variously called 'local character', 'nutjob', and 'quiche eating terrorist sympathiser'. The Jack Dee of Dewatering.

 Leafy Hertfordshire
instagram.com/dancarpenter1986
Joined February 2009
  • Tweets54.6K
  • Following3.4K
  • Followers1.4K
1.8KMedia
So.....the winning Reform strategy now is to....*checks notes*....bring back imperial measurements? Which were replaced in the...*checks notes* 1960s....so, about 60 years ago There are just no words are there? lbc.co.uk/article/reform-imp…

Reform plan to 'bring back imperial measurements' as party announces list of pledges it says will...

At a speech on Monday, Robert Jenrick will unveil a rival "teal" budget book setting out the different choices Reform would make

lbc.co.uk
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Really quite pleasing to wake up to see Lula somehow managed to win in Brazil
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Frazer Grant
@financefrazOct 24
Unpopular opinion: If you’ve intentionally dodged your taxes while the rest of us pay up every month, you shouldn't get a polite warning letter. HMRC dipping straight into accounts is long overdue. Play by the rules or expect consequences. 🤷‍♂️💷
Politics UK
@PolitlcsUKOct 23
🚨 BREAKING: John Healey will announce at the Budget that HMRC will be given powers to seize money directly from the bank accounts of people who fail to pay their tax
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Well don't I feel an idiot for looking at the weather and deciding not to go to the match....
Kings Langley FC@KLFCofficialOct 24
90 Turner makes it 8. 8-1
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Burnley are going to do a Leicester aren't they?
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Ffs
West Bromwich Albion
@WBAOct 24
The hosts score. ⚪️ 1-0 ❤️ | (78')
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It may be a case of right man, right club, right time, but I reckon there is a good shout for Emery being the best manager in the UK at the moment
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Ranibow Sprimkle retweeted
Simon Curtis@bifana_bifanaOct 22
Some of those poor buggers will have watched Van Basten and Gullit in the flesh every week and now they're in a crowd of 400 drifting through a retirement village in the rain to see their team go down 3-0 to Bournemouth.
FootballAwaydays
@Awaydays23Oct 22
AC Milan en route to Bournemouth tonight
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Beosweyne@iggypopbarkerOct 23
Andy Burnham shouldn't be on TV shows
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This is the equivalent of a Rupert Lowe fan page thinking he's going to be the next PM because they ran a poll amongst supporters and everyone said he should be the next PM. It's basically weirdos shouting into an echo chamber and thinking they are representative
Adam Brooks AKA EssexPR 🇬🇧
@EssexPROct 23
From my Youtube page… That’s an awful percentage for Labour
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I guess at least the Berko game is on
Emirates FA Cup
@EmiratesFACupOct 22
The #EmiratesFACup first round TV picks have been selected! 📺 Click below to find out more 👇 the-fa.com/aehd8q
Emirates FA Cup graphic titled “First Round TV picks,” listing four televised fixtures with club crests: Friday 6 November: Oxford City v Leicester City, kick-off 7.45pm GMT on TNT Sports 1 and HBO Max. Saturday 7 November: Altrincham v Notts County, kick-off 5.30pm GMT on TNT Sports 1, HBO Max, BBC Two and iPlayer. Saturday 7 November: Peterborough United v Reading, kick-off 8pm GMT on TNT Sports 1 and HBO Max. Sunday 8 November: Stafford Rangers v Grimsby Town, kick-off 12pm GMT on TNT Sports 1 and HBO Max.

ALT Emirates FA Cup graphic titled “First Round TV picks,” listing four televised fixtures with club crests: Friday 6 November: Oxford City v Leicester City, kick-off 7.45pm GMT on TNT Sports 1 and HBO Max. Saturday 7 November: Altrincham v Notts County, kick-off 5.30pm GMT on TNT Sports 1, HBO Max, BBC Two and iPlayer. Saturday 7 November: Peterborough United v Reading, kick-off 8pm GMT on TNT Sports 1 and HBO Max. Sunday 8 November: Stafford Rangers v Grimsby Town, kick-off 12pm GMT on TNT Sports 1 and HBO Max.

Emirates FA Cup graphic titled “First Round TV picks,” listing four more televised fixtures with club crests: Sunday 8 November: Cray Wanderers v Stockport County, kick-off 2.15pm GMT on TNT Sports 3, HBO Max, BBC Two and iPlayer. Sunday 8 November: Wimborne Town v Crawley Town, kick-off 3pm GMT on TNT Sports 1 and HBO Max. Sunday 8 November: Oldham Athletic v Sheffield Wednesday, kick-off 5.15pm GMT on TNT Sports 1 and HBO Max. Monday 9 November: Plymouth Parkway v Berkhamsted, kick-off 7.30pm GMT on TNT Sports 1 and HBO Max.

ALT Emirates FA Cup graphic titled “First Round TV picks,” listing four more televised fixtures with club crests: Sunday 8 November: Cray Wanderers v Stockport County, kick-off 2.15pm GMT on TNT Sports 3, HBO Max, BBC Two and iPlayer. Sunday 8 November: Wimborne Town v Crawley Town, kick-off 3pm GMT on TNT Sports 1 and HBO Max. Sunday 8 November: Oldham Athletic v Sheffield Wednesday, kick-off 5.15pm GMT on TNT Sports 1 and HBO Max. Monday 9 November: Plymouth Parkway v Berkhamsted, kick-off 7.30pm GMT on TNT Sports 1 and HBO Max.

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I've never understood the appeal of Gogglebox, but at least Burnham has a bit of personality and could be watchable. Farage pretending to watch normal TV would be beyond cringeworthy Would be excellent material for #SNLuk though
Politics UK
@PolitlcsUKOct 22
🚨 NEW: Reform and the Tories have called for Channel 4 to invite Nigel Farage and Kemi Badenoch to Gogglebox after Andy Burnham was confirmed to appear tomorrow night Tory Source: “It’s Channel 4’s job to ensure political balance”
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Le Mod@LeModFootballOct 22
Sounds like a Black Country Payday Loan Company
Łukasz Bączek@Lu_Class_Oct 21
Newcastle United has agreed a multi-year partnership with Corpay, Inc., a global leader in foreign exchange (FX) and international corporate payments. The deal names Corpay’s Cross-Border business as the club’s Official FX and Cross-Border Payments Partner.
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Tony Rivers@TonyRivers1927Oct 20
Rupert Lowe is now 16/1 to become the next Prime Minister. In betting terms it means if you placed £100 on Lowe you would lose a hundred quid
Restore Britain
@RestoreBritainOct 20
Rupert Lowe is now third favourite to be the next Prime Minister with Bet365.
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Accidental Partridge
@AccidentalPOct 20
Liz Truss
@trusslizOct 20
New book out on 26th October. Order your copy now - links below!
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Alex Cole
@acnewsiticsOct 20
Imagine being president of the United States and your biggest intellectual flex is knowing what a giraffe looks like.
Aaron Rupar
@atruparOct 20
Trump: "The first one is they show you a lion, a bear, a snake, and a giraffe. And they say, 'Which one is the giraffe?' I got a perfect score."
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Well that was awkward
Politics UK
@PolitlcsUKOct 20
🚨 WATCH: Robert Jenrick asks Reform UK's audience to stand up if they work
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Fascinating discussion on this week's @FootballRamble about the best and worst times supporting your club. The best for me at #wba was the time from Megson coming in and keeping us up, then the playoffs and then THAT promotion.
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I considered the TM, RH and SC yrs but that run under Meggy was amazing. Worst is prob first 2/3 of last season. It was dire from players we know were capable of better. Bruce runs it close but the team was full of mediocre players. The 90s were grim but I didn't know any better
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Ranibow Sprimkle retweeted
Jared Shult
@jared_shultOct 20
Grindr already exists
Spencer Hakimian
@SpencerHakimianOct 20
JUST IN: Donald Trump announces he is looking into launching a dating app for MAGA men
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