For those who enjoy Game of Thrones/House of the Dragon but struggle a bit with the geography, this map really helped me

Feels like it was Zeptember a week ago and now Rocktober is almost over. ELOvember right around the corner, then it’s basically the holidays up through AC/DCember. Jamuary be here ‘fore you know it.

They are literally trying to kill me

The Mercedes G wagon blocking both directions of traffic on Highland Ave as it waits to turn into the Bottega valet might actually be *too* perfect of a metaphor for this town. Local writers, feel free to use that though. A bit heavy handed for my taste personally.

If they can do something about the timing of the traffic lights I’m all for it but otherwise I think deploying the national guard to downtown Birmingham is probably not necessary.

Sorry if this is “old man yelling at clouds” territory but I need a paper menu, not a damn QR code. I want a literal piece of paper that lists the menu items with a short description and a price, not a link to a website! I’ll straight up leave and find a different brothel I swear

Still exchanging Roll Tides with the UPS driver every day but the subtext feels different now

The kids at work are calling me “chopped” that’s the same as like ripped or cut right?

Hey Parents, grades have been updated in MySchool. Just click Scores under MyStudent in the EduSphere. If your PowerClass account is inactive you can reset your username in KnowledgeBase. To obtain a new BrainBoard password just email the AdminTroll and answer his riddles three.

There should be a pro bowl type exhibition game where all the injured players play on crutches and whatnot

I love it when the grocery store cashier has comments about my items. “Oh are these good?,” “I didn’t know we had these?” etc. Yes my brother, Ritz crackers are very good. Definitely check them out if you haven’t.

Lost my five X bucks on a bama Georgia Texas parlay yesterday

Daniel Moore’s next painting is me 12 ultras deep punching the shit out of all the drywall in the Galleria Home Depot

UPSET ALERT: my team sucks and I’m getting upset

Ah the first False Fall of the year. Southerners gleefully donning cardigans and light jackets as we rush out to greet the autumn morning with a gleam in our eyes. “I can almost see my breath!” I say, blowing into my cupped hands. Knowing in my heart it will be 87 on Thanksgiving

A decade of tweeting nothing but unimpeachable all-time bangers and they pay me what? Five pretend X dollars?

You never want the press describing you as “embattled.” Huge red flag imo

What’s the worst sequel you can remember from your childhood? For me it was Algebra II

Buying two of these to put over my eyes as a prank on Charon when he ferries me across the Styx

I think we should have a two team college playoff and it should be between Lane Kiffin’s current team and whatever team Dabo is coaching. Then while they’re preoccupied with that we can have the real playoffs without them bothering us.

Tattoo of the Mountain Brook double roundabout so if I forget how to do it I can just look in the mirror at my lower back