El-Sayed: In my Neurology unit, I would have to give that MOCA exam, that cognitive test he's so proud of… The only people you give that test to are people who you worry may have cognitive deficits. By definition, if you’re taking one of those tests, something is wrong.  And you know the doctor who gave it to him was like, I just want to see how smart you are, sir. And he's like, me too. He brags about having taken it. He's like I remembered the rhinoceros. You're like Habibi, everybody remember the rhinoceros. And the funny thing about it is, you know, he's taken it multiple times. So he's not even bragging about the first time he took it. He's like, I took it the 1st time and then I took it the 2nd time. So with Donald Trump, you can't blame him for this, he's just dumb. But for Mike Rogers, can you imagine how small of a human being you have to be to know that he has real deficits and to just nod your head approvingly at the most ridiculous shit that the man proposes?

EL-SAYED: I get that the President takes personal offense to my first name. He doesn't mind as much when it's the Saudis who are funding his son-in-law's private equity. Doesn't seem to mind as much when it's the Qataris who are giving them a $400 million private jet. He just seems to have trouble pronouncing it when it's my name.  I don't care how he pronounces my name. I don't even care that he remembers my whole name. Because he can just go on and call me senator after November.