Jazz pianist, husband, dad, ex-Apple Portlandian, @Avatron CEO, expert witness, tech entrepreneur, and undisputed master of the single entendre.

Portland, Oregon
Joined May 2008
Sold my piano today after thirty years. Goodbye old friend!
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𝙳𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝙷𝚘𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚕 retweeted
Best poster award
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When I moved to Southern California I signed up for a beach volleyball course with Parks & Rec. During a game in Manhattan Beach I saw a vicious brawl between surfers and cops on the pier. No one else was shocked; they all saw the craft services tent nearby. What a midwesterner.
I was innocently walking on campus one day when I see a bunch of cool cars and a few people dressed in the 40s clothes. I thought a cool student group has a fashion show or something (Berkeley has awesome student groups) Until someone starts yelling at me that I should get out of the way. Turns out I was in the middle of the @OppenheimerFilm movie scene.
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𝙳𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝙷𝚘𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚕 retweeted
If there was ever a time I wanted people to retweet something - A vaccine specialist, Dr. Paul Offit, spells out how RFK Jr. played a role in discouraging vaccination rates in a small population. A measles outbreak followed which resulted in 83 deaths mostly of young children.
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The the people who say “guns don’t kill people; people kill people,” I say fine, America doesn’t have a gun problem; it has a gun nut problem. Either way, the solution is the same. Buy back old guns and make it harder to buy new ones.
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𝙳𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝙷𝚘𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚕 retweeted
Elon Musk is like a Scooby Doo villain who dresses up as a ghost to scare everyone away from the theme park but forgets that his business is theme parks – at Lewisham, London
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Attention grammatical navel gazers! Why do we say “a history” but “an historical account?” Is it because the first syllable in history is accented but the first in historical is not? And do we say “an” for a secondary accent too? So, “a hysterectomy” but “an hypothesis”?
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And “a hypothetical” and “a heliport” but “an hereditary disease” and “an hallucination.” How bizarre to choose an article based on whether a syllable is unaccented versus having a primary or secondary accent.
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British people, do you follow this stupid rule too? Or do you just drop all the H’s except for “herb” and the letter “haitch”? (@petewarden @MafVosburgh @PhDrRichardson)
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Good to know. But the MAGA dingbats will assume it’s a deep-state coverup because it conflicts with their outrage profile.
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Another day, another Midjourney miss.
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It’s an abnormal map.
I found a pub with an inverted normal map. If you understand what this means, you have to retweet.
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Want to feel old? This is the baby from Nirvana’s Nevermind album cover.
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This photo suggests that Apple will be able to create a Vision model more like swim goggles than a ski mask.
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𝙳𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝙷𝚘𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚕 retweeted
Todays cartoon for @PostOpinions
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Nodding so enthusiastically the ripples from my dad-chins are propagating through my whole dad-bod.
This Father's Day, can we as a society consider putting an end to the "Dad-" prefix that signifies something negative? Because: EVERYbody has a pair of comfy sneakers. Corny jokes are just a cultural touchstone. And those "dad rock" bands are blowing the roofs off packed arenas.
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𝙳𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝙷𝚘𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚕 retweeted
Happy Father's Day to all modern fathers
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I don’t have any plans to commit crimes. But if things go very wrong and I accidentally, say, rob a bank, I will officially declare my candidacy for President, knowing that the GOP will fight any attempt to prosecute me.
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