Danny Buckler

Since I became disabled I have been shocked at the state of accessible toilets in the UK. So many of them are absolutely disgusting. Nothing makes you feel less welcome as a disabled person than having to use neglected toilets, with sanitary bins overflowing with human waste. I’m often forced to take my waste with me, carrying it round in a rucksack and disposing of it at home. It’s heartbreaking and it happens a lot. Sadly, it’s very common. Venues across the UK simply don’t respect customers with disabilities and expect us to go to the toilet in repulsive surroundings. That’s why it’s such a treat when you go somewhere with an accessible loo that’s properly looked after. The Hyndland Rock in Glasgow has the best accessible toilet of any pub I’ve been in. It’s immaculate, smells fresh and even has a framed print on the wall. Art! In a disabled toilet! I cannot tell you how happy it makes me to find a toilet like this. It’s a massive relief and it makes me feel less sad about my situation. I’m an optimistic chap but when I’m catheterising myself or emptying my colostomy bag in a foul room full of flies, it doesn’t make me feel good about my life. So if you have a venue, please look after your accessible toilets. The basics are the most important thing: empty the bins and keep the room clean and free of junk. Those simple things really mean a lot to people like me. They’re not on X so I can’t tag them, but thank you to all the staff at The Hyndland Rock!

MY BRAND NEW TOUR IS ON SALE NOW! It’s my biggest ever tour, 51 dates across the UK. Featuring Donald Trump, Angela Rayner, Lee Anderson, Keir Starmer and Oasis What more do you want? Ok, there’s some (soft) dick jokes too. Tickets: mattforde.com

July is #SarcomaAwarenessMonth which is fitting for me as I was diagnosed with a sarcoma in July 2023. My sarcoma was a chordoma, a very rare cancer affecting around 1 in a million people. (I know, special). It was on my sacrum. My oncologist thinks it could have been in there for 5 years, slowing creeping up my spine. The little bastard. (The tumour, not my oncologist. He's great). Thank GOD I found it when I did. I developed blistering nerve pain in my left buttock and hamstring area. Part of my bum was numb, too. I'm telling you this because if you've got similar symptoms, get it checked. Having an MRI is crucial. Be pushy if you need to be. It's better to push and get good news than put it off and have a tumour creeping up your spine you don't catch early. In fact, if there's anything wrong with you, get it checked. You know your body. You know if there's something wrong. Don't put it off. Don't think 'oh it'll just clear up'. Advocate for yourself. Either way it's good. If you're lucky, it's nothing serious. If you're not, you've caught it early and you have improved your chances of survival and minimised the damage. When I was told I had cancer I just couldn't believe it. I thought I had a slipped disc. But you have to rapidly adjust to the new reality. I had to come to terms with my own mortality and how my life was going to be different. I just wanted to live. Being alive is wonderful. This planet, this place is special. For all our problems, even in the darkest times we find a way to get through and to feel hope. We have to believe that things will get better. They often do. Trying to imagine your future with a changed body is impossible until you've started to live it. Having a stoma, having to self-catheterise and dealing with erectile dysfunction terrified me. Would I be able to live my life, go to gigs, the pub, football matches? I've done all those things and more, because we adapt. You just get used to the new way and then it doesn't even occur to you. Having a stoma is nothing. I don't want to minimise how difficult it can be for other people, but for me I barely think about it. It's a very small change. I'm more careful about what I eat and when. And if I'm going to see Oasis, I pop a couple of Imodium. For the rest of my life I will be deeply grateful to @thernohcharity for operating on me, nursing me back to health and for their continued help in my recovery, to @FriendsofGRI for discovering the tumour and to @uclh for keeping a watchful eye over me every six months. I'm lucky to have survived cancer and be almost in one piece. I know millions aren't so lucky. When I was in that hospital bed in pain, I didn't resent people who were having a better time than me. I wanted them to be out there, living life in every way that made them happy. Life is a gift and you never know when it's going to end. Make the most of it.

Two days running the accessible toilets have been out of order on @EastMidRailway. This is a disgraceful way to treat disabled passengers. They should be fixed as a matter of urgency.

If you love being late and travelling on cramped, hot trains in the middle of summer, book direct with @EastMidRailway NOW. As an extra bonus for disabled passengers, they’ll make sure you can’t get to the toilet. Why travel in comfort when you can travel with @EastMidRailway?

Spitting Image: The Rest Is Bullshit The brand new series hosted by Prince Harry and Paddington Bear. Like and subscribe for updates… m.youtube.com/watch?v=sFcmjq…

Tomorrow night. Wes Streeting. LIVE!

Thursday’s results were awful for Labour. How can the party turn its fortunes around? This is a dose of mega political strategy with Tony Blair's former Political Secretary @johnmcternan. It's electric.  podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcas…