Hey @Citi! My dream vacay is to travel around the Mediterranean via kayak and eat all the local goodies! Let’s make it happen! #ShareYourDream #Sweepstakes
I’m glad I set boundaries w/ 5yo early on about how he should only interrupt mommy’s WFH video calls for an emergency. To date, emergencies have been: “I need help wiping,” “I can’t find the remote,” and “my tummy feels hungry”
The people who drink sparkling water straight out of a can are the same people who enjoyed putting a 9v battery on their tongues
Thanks, every company I have ever given my email to... now I have an easy way to unsubscribe to everything in one location. #coronapocalypse #COVID
Why would they make the titular heroes of a kids show so hard to say for a preschooler? If I have to correct PJ Match one more time... @disneyplus @PJMasks #watchhowisayit
When I was learning to cook for myself, @altonbrown was the most trusted cook and food professional in my life. Now to see all of the Good Eats episodes remastered and now-Alton contradicting his 1999 self is absolutely blowing my mind and making me doubt all my technique
Me to 4yo: Don’t play with guns!
Also me: here’s a Star Wars fighter jet with laser cannons!!
Parenting is just full of opportunities to be a hypocrite.
The kid is asleep. Hubs and I are on different devices, sitting next to each other, streaming Disney+ content. So this is love. #DisneyPlus #Mandalorian #Cinderella #marriage
4yo asked me to read his book. Told him to try telling the story from the pictures. He opens the book and says “Chase is on the case!” I looked at him so proudly then he turns the page and says “bird.” And turns the page again. So much for that...
Put on a winter coat, stuck my hand in the pocket and found a cheese stick wrapper. Ugh, how long has that been there?!? #momlife #needtodryclean #boymom #mightalsobelongtohubby
Me: 1 more min
3yo: 3 more!
Me: 2
3yo: we’re fighting mommy!
Me: No, we’re negotiating.
3yo: Yeah! We’re ne-go-ti-um... no, we’re flighting...
Just rediscovered @plainwhitets Stop album and high school me is having a moment #perfectforyou #teenangst #sodramatic
You know what’s terrible? Jokes told by a 3yo.
3: peanut butter crackers, peanut butter crackers! (Uncontrollable laughter)
Me: so, peanut butter is the punchline?
3: AND JELLY! (More uncontrollable laughter and some spit)
Driving on local roads.
3yo: Whoooa!
Me: (panicking) what?!?
3yo: Don’t drive so fast, we’re gonna crash!
Me: I’m going 20, that’s pretty slow.
3yo: Then you aren’t gonna win. Speed up mommy! #parenting #momlife
Ba-boom! #RocktheVote #JustVote
Me: ok, we’re going home in 5 mins. 2yo: no, 2 mins. Me: um, sure. 2 mins. Let’s hope his counting and negotiating skills stay this way for a while
2yo requested tacos for dinner, for the 3x this week. <sheds tear> I raised him right #tacolife
Ultimate #momstatus : holding a half eaten taco in your purse because the 2yo didn’t want to finish it, but also didn’t want to toss it. Happy Mother’s Day, all!