ᴊ ᴀ s ᴏ ɴ ᴄᴀʀᴍɪᴄʜᴀᴇʟ (@DetachedWit) header
ᴊ ᴀ s ᴏ ɴ ᴄᴀʀᴍɪᴄʜᴀᴇʟ (@DetachedWit) profile picture

ᴊ ᴀ s ᴏ ɴ ᴄᴀʀᴍɪᴄʜᴀᴇʟ

@DetachedWit

𝙳𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚝𝚘𝚘 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚊𝚕𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚢?

 [ ʀᴘ | ᴍᴄ ]
Joined June 2013
  • Tweets7.6K
  • Following208
  • Followers200
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Photo by ᴊ ᴀ s ᴏ ɴ ᴄᴀʀᴍɪᴄʜᴀᴇʟ (@DetachedWit)Photo by ᴊ ᴀ s ᴏ ɴ ᴄᴀʀᴍɪᴄʜᴀᴇʟ (@DetachedWit)Photo by ᴊ ᴀ s ᴏ ɴ ᴄᴀʀᴍɪᴄʜᴀᴇʟ (@DetachedWit)Photo by ᴊ ᴀ s ᴏ ɴ ᴄᴀʀᴍɪᴄʜᴀᴇʟ (@DetachedWit)Photo by ᴊ ᴀ s ᴏ ɴ ᴄᴀʀᴍɪᴄʜᴀᴇʟ (@DetachedWit)Photo by ᴊ ᴀ s ᴏ ɴ ᴄᴀʀᴍɪᴄʜᴀᴇʟ (@DetachedWit)Photo by ᴊ ᴀ s ᴏ ɴ ᴄᴀʀᴍɪᴄʜᴀᴇʟ (@DetachedWit)Photo by ᴊ ᴀ s ᴏ ɴ ᴄᴀʀᴍɪᴄʜᴀᴇʟ (@DetachedWit)Photo by ᴊ ᴀ s ᴏ ɴ ᴄᴀʀᴍɪᴄʜᴀᴇʟ (@DetachedWit)
𝘑𝘢𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘌𝘳𝘪𝘤 𝘊𝘢𝘳𝘮𝘪𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘦𝘭 ғᴀɴᴅᴏᴍʟᴇss ᴏᴄ ᴍᴀᴛᴜʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇᴍᴇs ᴍᴜsᴇ ᴏғ #Eᴛʜᴇʀᴇᴀʟ 𝙄'𝙡𝙡 𝙤𝙣𝙡𝙮 𝙝𝙪𝙧𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙞𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙡𝙚𝙩 𝙢𝙚.
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It's my #Twitterversary! I have been on Twitter for 10 years, since 12 Jun 2013 (via @twi_age).
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It's my #Twitterversary! I have been on Twitter for 9 years, since 12 Jun 2013 (via @twi_age).
It's my #Twitterversary! I have been on Twitter for 8 years, since 12 Jun 2013 (via @twi_age).
Happy twitterversary to me?
It's my #Twitterversary! I have been on Twitter for 7 years, since 12 Jun 2013 (via @twi_age).
That’s terrible. I’m so sorry.
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He does. I’ve seen it.
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His micro dick.
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Fortunately for me, I have none of those things. Sorry man.
Officer Bryan Murphy (@RecklessRogue_) profile pictureOfficer Bryan Murphy@RecklessRogue_12 Jun 2020
Ah! There it is. I knew you couldn't resist talking about it. I already got gray hair and joint pain. All I need is a shriveled up persqueeter and I'm old as fuck.
You’ll get it too. The gray hair. The joint pain. The shriveled up dick.
Officer Bryan Murphy (@RecklessRogue_) profile pictureOfficer Bryan Murphy@RecklessRogue_12 Jun 2020
Don't say that!
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It happens to us all eventually.
Officer Bryan Murphy (@RecklessRogue_) profile pictureOfficer Bryan Murphy@RecklessRogue_12 Jun 2020
I feel like you missed the opportunity to make a dick joke. You must be getting slow in your old age.
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Can you?
Officer Bryan Murphy (@RecklessRogue_) profile pictureOfficer Bryan Murphy@RecklessRogue_12 Jun 2020
I can already see where you're going with this, Carmichael....
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How small?
Officer Bryan Murphy (@RecklessRogue_) profile pictureOfficer Bryan Murphy@RecklessRogue_12 Jun 2020
Part of me is glad to see you.... A SMALL PART.
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Rude. But not wrong.
Officer Bryan Murphy (@RecklessRogue_) profile pictureOfficer Bryan Murphy@RecklessRogue_11 Jun 2020
Fucking Jason. It’s been awhile since I’ve seen a face I wanna punch repeatedly.
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Tacos.
Officer Bryan Murphy (@RecklessRogue_) profile pictureOfficer Bryan Murphy@RecklessRogue_11 Jun 2020
Yeah, man! Guac sucks unless a Mexican restaurant makes it!
You judging the guac?
Officer Bryan Murphy (@RecklessRogue_) profile pictureOfficer Bryan Murphy@RecklessRogue_11 Jun 2020
When you eat guacamole from a legit Mexican place, you realize how bland and plain guacamole is when it’s made by a different type of restaurant. Wowee!!!!
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ᴊ ᴀ s ᴏ ɴ ᴄᴀʀᴍɪᴄʜᴀᴇʟ retweeted
𝘊𝘈𝘚𝘚𝘐𝘌. (@damageddefector) profile picture
𝘊𝘈𝘚𝘚𝘐𝘌.@damageddefector8 Apr 2020
𝘕𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘢 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘥𝘦, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘢𝘳. sᴘɴ ᴏᴄ ᴍᴀᴛᴜʀᴇ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ʙᴀɴᴛᴇʀ ʜᴇᴀᴠʏ ᴍᴜsᴇ ᴏғ #Eᴛʜᴇʀᴇᴀʟ 𝐡 𝐮 𝐧 𝐭 𝐞 𝐫
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Oh. My. God.
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[dramatic sigh, falls]
🌈Pᴀɴᴅᴀᴘᴏᴏʟ. (@XplodingCanary) profile picture🌈Pᴀɴᴅᴀᴘᴏᴏʟ.@XplodingCanary6 Apr 2020
Never meet your heroes kid.
I was so close to my hero.
🌈Pᴀɴᴅᴀᴘᴏᴏʟ. (@XplodingCanary) profile picture🌈Pᴀɴᴅᴀᴘᴏᴏʟ.@XplodingCanary6 Apr 2020
There there.
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