When you have kids, it’s funny how your brain works with your newborn. You enjoy how tiny they are and love them to pieces, but sleep patterns cause a lot of emotional and mental stress. There comes a point where you say, “I can’t wait until they can sleep two hours straight, three hours straight, four, five, six,” all while forgetting that they’re only getting bigger; and that means you’re losing those little ones, the parts you loved and adored so much. Small stressors compound over and over, especially as the days go on, and it’s hard to remember what you appreciate before it’s gone. It’s so easy to be consumed by the negative, which can be as simple as the thought, “I wish this wasn’t happening anymore.” But when we focus on “I’m so grateful that I have the opportunity to wake up like this and help create exactly what I wanted,” the cost doesn’t feel much of a cost anymore. It’s a cost you bear with gratitude. So as you go about your day today, whether you have children or other things that cause you to forget, sit back and realise what you’re losing every day and be grateful for what you have in each moment. I hope everyone can slow down, find, and cherish what they love each day. So I’ll begin. Thank you god for these tiny hands, I asked for this beautiful creation. Thank you for the warrior of a woman that bore this 5th child. Thank you for the beautiful slowler land we got pushed into, it allowed us to heal and change. Thank you for breaking me and showing me a new path to a better life and loving family.

dropped the kids off at public school this morning after a year of homeschooling they missed the social side a lot. most of their life was public school so that makes sense but today when i dropped my middle schooler with the neighbor i just watched. all these kids outside huddled over, staring at a glowing box. no faces. no play. no interaction. just hypnotized by the glow my daughter and the neighbor? phones away. talking the whole ride. talking about putting their phones down when they talk to each other. she was homeschooled the last four years too funny how it flips. growing up i used to wish for an automated system when i had to make phone calls. didn’t wanna talk to anybody. now i hate the automated systems. i just want a dang person to answer technology is amazing. but it has a cost. and that cost is our humanity we’re becoming disconnected from each other in so many ways it’s hard to even list them. and it’s becoming the foundation for our kids as they just stare at the glow so today. be more present. ignore the glow in front of your face and look at the glow that’s all around you in this beautiful world find the beauty. embrace it. help build more of it

Good morning friends. Last year something visits the land while we sleep. trail cam catches a coyote at 5am like it's clocking out for from night shift. i used to think stillness meant nothing was happening. turns out the real work just doesn't need an audience.

in the infusion room, eyes closed is usually where the real work starts. eyes open, the world gets loud and beautiful. eyes closed, the old stuff finally has room to come up. neither one is better. the medicine just asks you to stop steering. I call it the Keta river.

We interrupt your building of happiness and wholesome posts with this banger….

A few people asked how we're sleeping with baby #5. honestly? not much. but i've stopped counting the hours and started counting the little noises she makes at 3am. those are the ones i'll miss…. And it really won’t be much longer. Cheers to appreciating your “lasts”

I’m stuck somewhere in the middle of nightmare before Christmas.

Love heals just look what it does to plants. Simple as talking beautiful things changes its growth.

day off today but i still did drop off. that's something i don't skip. they won't remember most of what i say but they'll remember that i showed up early with them. The Tao says do your work, then step back. so i'm stepping back with a coffee after drop off 2 with the littles.

Good morning! How’s your weekend? We had the oldest lady friend over and we all carved pumpkins and baked the seeds with some spooky movies in the background.