bryce

bro. the only reason we think dinosaurs rawr’d or were loud af is bc of jurassic park. for all we know a t-rex could’ve sounded like a kitten or a duck or something like that idk man just crazy

if you canceled religion chick-fil-a would be open today

say it with me TERRORISTS. not protesters, not “good people”, domestic terrorists.

so what you’re saying is that i’ve smelled like weed this entire time ???

a strip club but instead of lap dances they listen to your problems and offer healthy advice

bought some adderall off of a trucker named scooter just outside of grand junction. 90% sure it was meth

kind of weird we celebrate a dude eating 75 hot dogs while 13 million people in Yemen eat leaf paste due to the worst famine in 100 years idk

imagine being more upset about a fucking target being burnt down than a man being LYNCHED on camera #BlackLivesMatter

never before has there been a more appropriate and justifiable time in which you can just get high and stay home

it’s ok to leave your home town

if i was gun girl i would simply stop asking people smarter than me questions

i’ll take the big nasty please

rip mr. mackie :(

we’re all sad boys right

because you’re insecure about yourself and intimidated by the idea that a group of women are on top of a predominately male environment. we should be praising this level of confidence and encouraging more to follow suit. idk

i’ve decided to only drink four lokos from here on out

vaccinate your kids you fucking weirdos

i’m the fastest man alive