An exciting tech startup coming soon to a phone near you, as soon as we find out how to monetize!
Chicago, IL
Joined December 2017
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New Year, new business model! We're going to be the internet's premiere destination for videos of corpses in the woods.
We’ll be honest. We have no idea what we’re doing. An angel investor gave us $1 million and all we’ve done is buy some URLs and a foosball table.
We're happy for the #NetNeutrality rollback, since our new business model is printing websites and sending them through the mail.
Just signed a lease for a 20,000 square foot office. Both of our employees say it’s a major upgrade.
Our Head of Finance complained we exceeded our trucker hat budget by 25%. So we’re hiring a new Head of Finance.
#Millennials - We don’t offer any vacation days, but our casual dress code is i.n.c.r.e.d.i.b.l.e. Come work here!
Our CEO sleeps just 6 minutes every hour. The rest of the day, he is #innovating. We get emails at 4 in the morning. It’s wild.
Apparently, we didn’t have the budget for that Soloflex. Seeking a new round of #VentureCapital to keep the dream alive!
New day, new business plan! We want every home to have a 3D taco printer. If you know how to make/monetize this, contact us!
#Millennials - We have an open floor plan and a ping-pong table! Work for us! (We can’t pay you yet. We’re working on it.)
Excited to offer our product on iOS and Android as soon as we decide on our product and hire someone to code iOS and Android!
The #Millennial misunderstood our offer. She will be resuming her barista career. Best of luck to her!
Having a heck of a time coming up with a business plan, but we just hired a Millennial we spotted at Starbucks. Expecting big things!
Okay, we just learned there are other companies focusing on delivering healthy meals. We're reworking our business plan. Stay tuned!