Emmaike

The Psychology of Discipline: Why Most People Struggle to Stay Consistent One thing people need to understand is that discipline is not about always feeling motivated. It’s about learning to act even when your feelings disagree with your intentions.

But I didn’t go back. The painful part wasn’t just discovering that he had another woman. It was remembering all the times I had defended him, trusted him, and questioned my own instincts because he kept telling me I was overthinking.

And that was when I realised that the truth was probably much worse than I imagined. I walked out of his apartment that afternoon. He called me repeatedly. He sent messages, voice notes, and even contacted my best friend to beg her to speak to me.

He started apologising. He said he was lonely, that things had been difficult between us, and that he never intended to hurt me. But I had one final question. “How long has this been going on?” He looked away

Okay, I made a mistake, but it didn’t mean anything.” I laughed. Not because anything was funny, but because I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “Two years, Daniel. Two whole years, and this is what you have to tell me?”

“Baby, wait. Let me explain.” I turned around. “Explain what? That your cousin wears lipstick, carries a handbag, and leaves hair clips in your house?” He went quiet. Then he said something I will never forget.

I looked at him. “Daniel, is your cousin still here?” He didn’t answer immediately. That silence told me more than his explanations ever could. I picked up my handbag and headed towards the door. He grabbed my hand.

I stopped. He followed my eyes and immediately picked it up. “Oh, that’s my cousin’s. She came around yesterday.” I didn’t say anything. Then I noticed two glasses on the dining table. Two plates in the sink. And a woman’s hair clip beside his television.

When I arrived, I knocked several times before he finally opened the door. He looked surprised. “Baby! What are you doing here?” I smiled and said I missed him. But as I walked inside, I noticed a woman’s handbag on the couch.

He became angry. He accused me of spying on him, being insecure, and looking for problems where there were none. And somehow, I ended up apologising. But I wasn’t satisfied. The following Monday, I decided to visit his apartment. I hadn’t told him I was coming.

That evening, I sent him the picture. He called me almost immediately. “Baby, please don’t start. That’s an old picture. You know people can post anything.” I asked him one simple question: “Daniel, why are you lying to me?”

Hey, baby.” I asked calmly, “Where are you?” “I’m in Abuja. Why?” I swallowed hard. “Okay. Enjoy your trip.” I ended the call. I didn’t want to believe what I had just seen.

I zoomed in on the picture. He was standing beside a woman, and his hand was comfortably resting on her waist. My heart started beating faster. I immediately called him. He didn’t answer. I called again. This time, he picked up.

And guess who was standing in the background? Daniel. The same Daniel who supposedly travelled to Abuja.

I wished him a safe journey. But something happened on Saturday afternoon. I was scrolling through Instagram when I saw a picture posted by a mutual friend. It was a birthday celebration.

He laughed. “Baby, what’s wrong with you? Must there always be a problem?” I kept quiet. A few days later, he told me he was travelling to Abuja for a business meeting. He said he would be away for the weekend.

I noticed everything, but whenever I asked questions, he made me feel like I was becoming insecure. One evening, I asked him: “Daniel, is there something you’re not telling me?”

He became unusually protective of his phone. Whenever I entered the room, he would quickly lock his screen. Sometimes, he would take calls outside and return acting as though nothing had happened.

Daniel was the kind of boyfriend who called every morning, checked on me during the day, and never forgot to say goodnight. At least, that was what I thought. Everything started changing about three months before I discovered the truth.