Reminds me of the 8 armed police in full body armour poised and ready to shoot when neighbour reported ‘armed men in the village’. It was my 12 year old son and his friend playing with a Nerf gun on the driveway. Took months to get them to drop the case.

Brendan Kavanagh (Dr K)

@brenkavOct 23

Six police surround myself and my wife and arrest us at home. This is from the police bodycam footage. We’re currently taking action against Bedfordshire police for this outrageous arrest. Myself and my wife were clearly soft targets, not exactly hardened criminals but they handcuffed both anyway …all charges dropped after a couple of months with no apology or explanation. The children were terrorised and they’ll never trust the police again.

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Problem Child · Oct 24, 2026 · 9:58 PM UTC

Problem Child@FootinitOct 24

I’ve always survived on 4 hours of interrupted sleep on a good night. Since being ill I’m sleeping 10 hours every night and it’s still not enough. Can’t tell if I’m broken or fixed.

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Problem Child · Oct 24, 2026 · 9:43 PM UTC

Problem Child@FootinitOct 24

Grandfather and grandson.

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Problem Child · Oct 24, 2026 · 9:42 PM UTC

Problem Child@FootinitOct 24

Subtitles amuse me.

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Problem Child · Oct 23, 2026 · 4:52 PM UTC

Problem Child@FootinitOct 23

I have no problem with people peeing in the shower but hearing someone blowing their nose in the shower makes me want to vom.

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Problem Child · Oct 16, 2026 · 1:10 PM UTC

Problem Child@FootinitOct 16

Thrilled to have viral pneumonia via influenza. Also woke up with one eye shut so conjunctivitis too. Tamiflu and Chloramphenicol now in system. I look like a bedraggled pirate. All limbs present and correct, so far.

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Problem Child · Oct 15, 2026 · 2:43 PM UTC

Problem Child@FootinitOct 15

Had to take son to orthodontist today ‘Mother, can we leave? Kettering makes me sad.’

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Problem Child · Oct 15, 2026 · 4:00 PM UTC

Problem Child@FootinitOct 15

Incidentally, although I made my son sound twee and precious like ‘Alan Bennett’ he calls me mother because I hate ‘mum’ so I am ‘mother, motherino, mothership, bruv and madre’. At least I’m no longer mummy!

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Problem Child · Oct 15, 2026 · 8:43 AM UTC

Problem Child@FootinitOct 15

I am obsessed with punctuality. One minute late this morning, due to getting my hair caught in the bathroom light pull-cord thing. AGAIN.

3,860

Problem Child · Oct 15, 2026 · 8:20 AM UTC

Problem Child@FootinitOct 15

East of Eden was a welcome distraction during my confinement. I won’t review it but definitely recommend it.

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Marina Hyde · Oct 15, 2026 · 6:53 AM UTC

Problem Child retweeted

Marina Hyde

@MarinaHydeOct 15

Just gonna have to call it: Jesus would not be pro public executions. Given everything that … happened.

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Problem Child · Oct 14, 2026 · 6:33 PM UTC

Problem Child@FootinitOct 14

Do you remember that swallowing thing Bob Monkhouse used to do? Looked for a nanosecond as if he might be shedding his skin like a snake? I’m now doing that every few seconds because my throat is so inflamed.

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Problem Child · Oct 14, 2026 · 5:49 PM UTC

Problem Child@FootinitOct 14

Emojis irritate me.

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Problem Child · Oct 14, 2026 · 10:55 AM UTC

Problem Child@FootinitOct 14

Because All Hallows’ Eve approacheth, I’m going to tell you the scariest thing that ever happened to me. Audio and video to follow once I can speak again. No, it’s not my wedding video.

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Problem Child · Oct 14, 2026 · 8:32 AM UTC

Problem Child@FootinitOct 14

Daughter went to see Dylan Moran on tour in Copenhagen. Said it was the best stand up she’s ever seen. Also….

9,306

Problem Child · Oct 14, 2026 · 8:23 AM UTC

Problem Child@FootinitOct 14

Remains the best thing I’ve ever seen online.

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Problem Child · Oct 13, 2026 · 7:51 PM UTC

Problem Child@FootinitOct 13

I think I’m getting my appetite back and would love a little fish finger sandwich. If only I could be bothered.

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