We are living in dangerously weird times now. Smart people just shrug and admit they're dazed and confused. The only ones left with any confidence at all are the New Dumb.

Bread and circuses were not enough to sustain the Roman Empire and they will not be enough for the United States of America.

We are slaves to mendacity and hostile disinformation.

We are doomed like rats in a maze of fear.

How long, O lord, how long? This blizzard of shame is getting a little old, isn’t it? Just how low do we have to fall before the voters catch on?

What would this country be without football in October?

We must have football.

I am quite sincere about some of the things which people take very lightly, and almost insultingly unconcerned about some of the things which people take most seriously.

I drink much less than most people think, and I think much more than most people would believe.

The towers are gone now, reduced to bloody rubble, along with all hopes for Peace in Our Time, in the United States or any other country. Make no mistake about it: We are At War now—with somebody—and we will stay At War with that mysterious Enemy for the rest of our lives.

With the return of the football season, come memories of people, parties and far-off places: the cold and clammy feel of a beer can clutched in my hand, and the witless screech of the crowd at a football game.

Anything that gets your blood racing is probably worth doing.

Freedom was yesterday in this country. Its value has been discounted. The only freedom we truly crave today is freedom from Dumbness.

So we shall let the reader answer this question for himself: who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed?

The world is full of places where a man can run wild on drugs and loud music and fire-power.

One of the things you learn, after years of dealing with drug people, is that everything is serious. You can turn your back on a person, but never turn your back on a drug—especially when it’s waving a razor-sharp hunting knife in your eyes.

They say that "he who flies highest, falls farthest" - and who am I to argue? But we can't forget that "he who doesn't flap his wings, never flies at all.”

Life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously.

Too weird to live, and too rare to die.