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Joined June 2024
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One of the reasons Star Wars is struggling to figure out where to go next is that the sequel trilogy was a creative dead end. It introduced virtually no compelling new characters worth building spinoff movies around, no particularly memorable new planets or civilizations worth exploring, and did very little to expand the mythology of the galaxy.
With all these Bond screen tests and still no casting news, I’d love to see Brosnan back for one last film. He never got a proper sendoff, ended on the stinker DIE ANOTHER DAY, then got dumped over the phone while shooting AFTER THE SUNSET in the Bahamas, sending him into a deep depression. An old-man Bond ala Logan? Sign me up.
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How much better would STAR TREK: NEMESIS have been if Patrick Stewart had played Shinzon himself? Imagine Stewart vs. Stewart, with one of them chewing the scenery as a gloriously hammy Shakespearean villain.
The movie bombed at the box office, but I guarantee you Stewart facing off against an evil version of himself would’ve sold a hell of a lot more tickets. And been infinitely more fun to watch!
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With news of LANTERNS Season 2 being cancelled, two huge mistakes stand out: making it a series instead of a movie, and killing off Kyle Chandler’s Hal Jordan, who was easily the most fun, funny, and exciting character DC had. He was almost Downey-esque. Instead, they killed him off and replaced him with Aaron Pierre’s John Stewart, who’s about as exciting as watching paint dry.
James Gunn’s DCU release strategy would be the equivalent of Marvel launching the MCU with Iron Man, following it up with an Ironheart movie, relegating Captain America to a streaming series, and then releasing a standalone body-horror movie about the Abomination.
And while Supergirl was the only outright bomb, the rest of his slate hardly set the world on fire or built the kind of momentum a fledgling cinematic universe desperately needs.
Wow! What an absolute failure. James Gunn and Peter Safran were brought in to give DC a unified creative vision and some much needed stability. Four years later, they’re already stepping down, and the DCU has barely gotten off the ground. Just when it seemed DC finally had a plan, it looks like it’s back to formula.
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Nolan's use of practical effects in THE ODYSSEY is extraordinary. The Cyclops, the use of actors of wildly different heights to create the giant Laestrygonians, Circe turning men into pigs. It all looks spectacular. And then that godawful tentacle monster, Scylla, shows up and sticks out like a sore thumb. Here's a film full of incredible practical effects and then you get this fully CGI monstrosity that feels like it wandered in from an early-2000s movie. And what's especially frustrating is that Nolan actually rigged the actors to be physically yanked off the ship, only to surround them with this horrible-looking CGI creature. It's the one sequence that breaks the illusion in a movie otherwise full of cinematic magic.
Growing up in Toronto, Canada Square was the old, stuffy theatre where movies for older audiences played while everyone else went to the shiny multiplex across the street to watch the latest blockbusters.
For the last 15 years, Spielberg has been making Canada Square movies. Perfectly enjoyable, well-made 7/10s that are instantly forgettable and, frankly, beneath his talents.
He’s obviously earned the right to make whatever he wants. I just miss the Spielberg who made movies I couldn’t wait to see.
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Nolan has essentially replaced Spielberg as Hollywood’s go-to event filmmaker. But when it comes to how they use the camera, Nolan couldn’t lace Spielberg’s boots. Spielberg is the GOAT at blocking a scene and moving the camera to tell a story. Even when his movies disappoint me, I can still take enormous pleasure in simply watching him work.
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Nobody said “HOO-AH!” better than Joe Pantoliano, and nobody has ever said “F*CK!” better than Dennis Farina.
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The screenplay for ROCKY is brilliant. In most movies, Rocky would get his shot at the title around the 11-minute mark. But Stallone waits over 30 minutes, spending that time showing us what a bum Rocky is and how little he has going for him. So when he finally gets the opportunity of a lifetime, our reaction isn’t “Hell yeah!” It’s “THAT guy?!”
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And at its core, ROCKY is a love story. Rocky is only able to go the distance with Apollo because he falls in love with Adrian. Which is why I love that final scene. Apollo is declared the winner, but we can barely hear it. Instead, the camera stays on Rocky and Adrian as they embrace and tell each other “I love you.” Because Rocky doesn’t care who won the fight. All he wanted was to go the distance, to prove he wasn’t just another bum. And thanks to Adrian, he finally believed he could.
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This reappraisal of Michael Mann’s MIAMI VICE has to stop. It looks like it was shot on a camcorder, Farrell and Foxx have zero chemistry, there isn’t a pastel in sight or a Jan Hammer tune to be heard, and the dialogue tries way too hard to sound cool with lines like “Do you know the meaning of the word foreboding? It means badness is happening right now.”
It sucked then and it sucks now and it marked the end of Michael Mann’s prime.
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TENET is basically INCEPTION without the emotional core of DiCaprio desperately trying to get back to his kids. Instead, we're given a protagonist with no backstory, no real emotional arc, and no personal stakes to make us invested in his journey. And while John David Washington is clearly supposed to be a mysterious, James Bond-type character, he lacks the effortless charisma and screen presence of a Sean Connery or Pierce Brosnan to make that work.
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Spider-Man: Brand New Day broke the all-time domestic box office record, and its trailer didn't even use a villain as the hook. I think that says a lot about how much audiences love these characters. Marvel didn't need some massive threat or elaborate gimmick to help sell the movie. Audiences just wanted to see these characters again.
I genuinely believe that if Conrad Hall had lived a little longer, people would be talking about him the way they talk about Roger Deakins today. As far as I’m concerned, Hall is the GOAT.
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Resident Evil might be the closest a movie has ever come to capturing the feeling of actually playing a video game, except someone else has the controller. I spent the entire movie mentally checking our inventory, conserving ammo, and wondering when the hell we were going to stop and save our progress.
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What are the odds Digger was review-bombed for taking aim at oil companies, billionaires, and the politicians in their pockets, by the very media empires those interests control? After all, William Randolph Hearst tried to do the same thing to Citizen Kane, using his powerful media empire to bury it. Where’s my tinfoil hat?
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