Holly Ballantine (@HollyBallantine) header
Holly Ballantine (@HollyBallantine) profile picture

Holly Ballantine

@HollyBallantine

Wife. Mom. Comic.

 Atlanta, GA
Joined April 2009
  • Tweets8.3K
  • Following2.3K
  • Followers4.4K
382Media
Photo by Holly Ballantine (@HollyBallantine)Photo by Holly Ballantine (@HollyBallantine)Photo by Holly Ballantine (@HollyBallantine)Photo by Holly Ballantine (@HollyBallantine)Photo by Holly Ballantine (@HollyBallantine)Photo by Holly Ballantine (@HollyBallantine)Photo by Holly Ballantine (@HollyBallantine)Photo by Holly Ballantine (@HollyBallantine)Photo by Holly Ballantine (@HollyBallantine)
My kids had money to spend at the store. My daughter bought a toy and my son bought….a rotisserie chicken.
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Do I have any followers from San Diego? Hopefully in the 11 people X shows this tweet to?
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When he speaks it’s like nails on a chalkboard. He is the dumbest person alive. So embarrassing.
Acyn (@Acyn) profile pictureAcyn
@AcynJun 22
Reporter: Are the contractors who did the initial work with a reflecting pool, are they to blame for the current condition? Trump: No, we had vandalism. I think 300 ft slit right through, probably a box cutter or a knife of some kind or we had people lifting up. 5 people are under investigation.
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Jelly Roll is getting divorced? Rough week for big dumb GUYS from Tennessee.
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Pregnancy brain has nothing on perimenopause. My kids’ names are none of my business.
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I truly peaked in 1998. I won state in bowling, was state running up free throw shooting champ, and I got boobs. Huge year for me and round things that hurt my back.
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Holly Ballantine retweeted
Bill Kristol (@BillKristol) profile picture
Bill Kristol
@BillKristolApr 2
Bondi was awful, but no worse than Patel. Noem was terrible, but no worse than Hegseth. Funny that it’s only the women who get fired.
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Hey #oscars maybe don’t have dumb sketches before every award so the people who win them can have their damn moment.
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The people with the strongest opinions about halftime shows drive 6 hour road trips with no music.
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Amex is like here’s your weekly snapshot of what you spent and it’s like thanks but I was there.
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Very happy to report my phone now autocorrects shot to shit.
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Holly Ballantine retweeted
mitra (@mitrajoy_) profile picture
mitra
@mitrajoy_Jan 28
just because I hate trump and everything he’s doing doesn’t mean I wouldn’t hate any other politician doing the same thing because I’m not in a cult. hope that helps
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Holly Ballantine retweeted
Brian Allen (@allenanalysis) profile picture
Brian Allen
@allenanalysisJan 28
Stella Carlson was there when Alex Pretti was killed. After witnesses were reduced to nicknames and caricatures, she spoke up: “I’m not the ‘Pink Jacket Lady.’ I want people to know who I am — because I represent all of us.” She’s demanding the truth about what she saw and refusing to be erased after a killing.
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Holly Ballantine retweeted
Brian Allen (@allenanalysis) profile picture
Brian Allen
@allenanalysisJan 28
BREAKING: A DHS report confirms two federal officers shot Alex Pretti and does not claim he brandished a gun. That directly undercuts days of insinuations used to justify a fatal shooting. The facts are catching up to the narrative.
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Holly Ballantine retweeted
Sarah Longwell (@SarahLongwell25) profile picture
Sarah Longwell
@SarahLongwell25Jan 25
A thread of MAGA protesting with guns and not getting murdered for it... Arizona, November 2020
Image from Sarah Longwell (@SarahLongwell25)
The Bulwark (@BulwarkOnline) profile pictureThe Bulwark
@BulwarkOnlineJan 25
Kash Patel: "You cannot bring a firearm loaded with multiple magazines to any sort of protest that you want. It's that simple. You don't have the right to break the law and incite violence."
Readers added context they thought people might want to know
Under the Second Amendment and MN Stat. 624.714, permit holders may legally carry firearms in public, including during protests. The U.S. Supreme Court has ruled that public carry is a constitutional right. Carrying a firearm does not legally constitute "inciting violence." revisor.mn.gov/statutes/cite/… supremecourt.gov/opinions/21pdf…
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Holly Ballantine retweeted
CobaltFox (@TkeeTennessee) profile picture
CobaltFox
@TkeeTennessee30 Dec 2025
Me going to the after party with two strangers because I trust their vibe ….
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All this technology in football and we still have dudes looking like this to see if a field goal is good or not FOH
Image from Austin Jacobsen (@Austin2Jacobsen)
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My new car doesn’t know me at all. Gaslight coming on at 69 miles? Honey, that is a full tank.
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Holly Ballantine retweeted
Kyle Wachtel (@KyleWachtel) profile picture
Kyle Wachtel
@KyleWachtel7 Dec 2025
Replying to @NDFootball
Notre Dame is really committed to avoiding quality opponents. Gotta give them credit.
Image from Kyle Wachtel (@KyleWachtel)
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Holly Ballantine retweeted
Mitchell Paige (@mitchellpaige5) profile picture
Mitchell Paige@mitchellpaige57 Dec 2025
Ohio state band can’t even spell their own state.. Hoosiers by a million
Image from Mitchell Paige (@mitchellpaige5)
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Ohio State missing field goal kicks like Kirk Herbstreit is the holder on College Game Day
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