I'm asking my little corner of X to come together in prayer today. ❤️🙏 Keith Malinak has suffered a stroke and is currently in critical condition. Whether you know Keith from The Pat Gray Unleashed Show or have never heard his name, please take a moment to pray for him. Pray for healing, for strength, for the medical team caring for him, and for his wife and children as they face something no family should have to endure. Sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is come together for someone who needs us. We're pulling for you, Keith. ❤️🙏 @KeithMalinak

Next up…The Purge movies. I’m not 100% convinced this is the right direction for a relaxing cabin getaway in the middle of nowhere. Especially with Jeff already convinced someone is lurking in the woods. 👀🤣

Note to self: If you find a movie you started but never finished on a night you were enjoying edibles…DO NOT restart it. Trust your baked instincts. Apparently, high me knew something sober me did not. 👀🤣

Gonna bake. Me: Does the cabin have measuring cups? Yes. Two 1-cup measuring cups. That’s it. That’s the entire set. 👀 Good thing I checked before we went to the store. Apparently cabin baking starts in the kitchenware aisle. 🤣

Ventured into a little Mexican joint in the middle of nowhere, honestly not expecting much. Well, color me surprised! 👀😂 Some of the BEST salsa we’ve had! They even made us fresh habanero salsa, which was absolutely fantastic. 🔥🌶️ The jalapeño margarita? LIT. 🍹🔥 And as you can clearly see from the photographic evidence, Jeff has absolutely NO respect for queso etiquette. This man double dips with the confidence of someone who has never once considered that other people exist. 👀🤣 Sir. That is a communal bowl of cheese, not your personal baptismal font. 💀😂 Sometimes the little unexpected places turn out to be the best finds! ❤️

Good morning, my friends! ☕️❤️🌲 Basement Escape: Day 6. Still somewhere in the woods. Still enjoying the peace and quiet. And still trying to figure out why we escaped a basement with hardly any natural light just to sit in a cabin with all the blinds closed. 👀🤣 The WiFi is working, the coffee is brewing, and nobody has invited themselves to dinner. I'd say things are going pretty well. 😂 Happy Sunday Funday! ❤️

When your husband says, “That’s a pretty big grocery list,” after spending the last 38 hours bitching about everything we DON’T have to cook with. Sir. Would you prefer I put “thoughts and prayers” on the list instead? 👀😂

Cabin owner: “Just text us if you need the outside garbage can emptied and we’ll come grab it.” Me: 👀 Do you think they’ll judge us when they hear the unmistakable clinking of my wine bottles and Jeff’s Crown bottles? Especially when they realize we’ve only been here a few days and already need a pickup? At what point does a garbage collection become a wellness check? 🤣🍷🥃

So…around 2 AM last night, I woke up to something screaming outside our cabin. Not quite a woman screaming…but close enough that I briefly questioned whether we'd rented a cabin in the middle of a horror movie. 👀 One long, awful scream…then a shorter one. This morning, I took Huey outside and discovered patches of what looks like rabbit fur in the yard. Jeff thinks it was a bobcat, coyote, or fox. I didn't investigate. I watch enough crime shows to know you don't go wandering around a crime scene. 🤣 We came to the woods for peace and quiet. Apparently, the local wildlife had other plans. And I'm pretty sure the rabbit won't be leaving a five-star review. 👀😂🌲

Sitting here in our cabin in the woods…with every single blind closed. Me: Do you think we've conditioned ourselves to sit in dark, windowless rooms from living in the basement for so long? Jeff: No. I just don't want the neighbors looking in. Me: 👀 Y'all. WE ARE IN A CABIN. IN THE WOODS. 😂🌲 Also Jeff…the same man who doesn't want window treatments on the giant windows across the back of our new house. Apparently, privacy is only a concern when there's absolutely nobody around to invade it. I cannot with this man. 🤣

I offered to run to the grocery store myself. Jeff: “It’s not safe.” Me: “????” Jeff: “You don’t know who’s out there.” Sir. We are in southern Indiana, not a witness protection program. 👀🤣 This man ate a mystery Pop-Tart left behind by strangers but thinks I’m going to disappear on a grocery run. Apparently, the only thing more dangerous than the woods is the produce aisle at Dollar General. 💀😂

BREAKFAST UPDATE: We’ve discovered the previous guests left behind some Pop-Tarts. Mystery flavor. Unknown age. We’re considering our options. 👀😂 But apparently, the packaging needs a warning telling people NOT to microwave the wrapper. I’m sorry. WHO needed that explained to them? And more importantly, are they currently operating heavy machinery? 💀🤣

We were supposed to go to the grocery store today to finish shopping for the cabin. Jeff has decided he doesn't want to leave. 😂 So here I sit, trying to figure out how to make breakfast with bacon, bread, tortillas, and a whole lot of wishful thinking. I've reached the point of researching whether French toast actually needs eggs. Meanwhile, my mimosa is juiceless. We're not exactly roughing it, but we're getting dangerously close to pioneer living. 👀🥂😂

Good morning, y’all! ☕️❤️🌲 Amazing how quickly you can settle back into doing absolutely nothing. 😂 No schedules. No rushing around. No wondering what needs to be done next. Just coffee, beautiful scenery, and the occasional decision about what we're going to eat. I'm starting to think I could get used to this cabin life. Of course, we've already established that even in the middle of the woods, we're perfectly capable of creating our own entertainment. 👀🤣 And not a pork cutlet in sight. Happy Saturday, y'all! ❤️

Good night from our little cabin in the woods! 🌙🌲❤️ Jeff brought some gummies along for the trip. And no, we're not talking about gummy bears from the candy aisle. 👀🤣 We're in the middle of nowhere, have absolutely nowhere to be tomorrow, and apparently decided the woods weren't entertaining enough on their own. If the trees start talking to us, I'm just hoping they have something interesting to say. 👀😂 Sweet dreams! ❤️

Something happened today that I honestly never thought was possible. I found a pizza I wouldn't eat. 👀🍕🤣 ME. Someone who has always believed that even bad pizza is still pizza. And looking at this picture, you'd think we had a winner. Apparently, looks really can be deceiving. And apparently, I have standards. Who knew? 😂

First movie of the cabin getaway… Disconnect. Well, this is definitely a departure from our usual cabin movie lineup of cheesy horror and movies so bad they're good. 👀😂 We came to the middle of nowhere to relax, and apparently decided to start with something that requires emotional stability. Bold choice. 😂🍿

Getting ready to relax on the patio… Jeff: “Check the cushions for nails before you sit down.” Me: “😳 WTAF?!” Jeff: “You never know what kind of psychos stayed here before us.” Me: “WHO BROKE YOU?!” 🤣 I thought we rented a peaceful little cabin in the woods. Apparently, Jeff thinks we rented the opening scene of a horror movie. 👀💀😂

I find it a little sad that these poor people can't even have their very own town drunk. They have to SHARE one. 👀🤣 Is there a schedule? Do they draw straws? And what happens if someone gets drunk when it's not their turn? Honestly, some of the hardships of small-town living just don't get talked about enough. 😂🍻

Spelling Bee: Episode 7,125 🐝🤣 Jeff: Why does autocorrect keep changing my words?! Me: What are you trying to spell? Jeff: Hawk. It keeps changing it to half! Me: Trying not to laugh because I can already see where this is going. How are you spelling it? Jeff: H-A-L-K. Me: 👀🤣 Y’all. I cannot make this stuff up. Apparently, autocorrect is the only one in this cabin trying to help. 😂

A very late good morning from our little cabin in the middle of nowhere! ☕️🌲❤️ Yes, I realize it’s almost 11. But WE HAVE WiFi AGAIN! 🎉😂 Apparently, disappearing into the woods comes with a few technical difficulties. Nothing like arriving at your peaceful little getaway only to have to leave it so you can find enough cell service to contact the owner about the WiFi. 👀🤣 Throw in a grocery run that resulted in buying the wrong meat for dinner, and I’d say our cabin adventure is off to a fabulous start. But the coffee is brewing, the woods are beautiful, and there’s not a basement in sight. Life is good. 😂❤️ Happy Friday, y’all!