RANDY5000

Me and @R5KProdAss are messing around with theme songs for CUM. Does this make you want to learn about the curious mysteries of our universe?

Thinnest shaft I've ever seen

In your lifetime you'll poop enough to fill 25 Olympic swimming pools

Dire wolf jokes are finally making a comeback after all these years!

Dire wolves, huh, more like Not-so-Dire wolves.

This who I think it is?

I was just reading the latest edition of Comedy Weekly. One report suggests we are experiencing a resurgence of Uranus comedy and potentially we are at the pinnacle. I believe we've only scratched the surface of Uranus.

Hemorrhoids

Call me when we get one to Uranus

Uranus is misunderstood

If you ask me there's never a bad time for Uranus.

Frickin masterbate much?

Ya dang horny bastard

"Mmmbop, dippin dots." Is this something?

It's literally 8:43 pm in Burbank, CA right now. Tell me it's not the greatest city in the world!

I guess you could say I've been to BugCon

Just reminiscing about arriving at my first BugCon and that glorious view of the Marriott.

"Where's the lasagna Jon?"

Is that thing normally this close?