As far from Twitter celebrity as is humanly possible. Sarcastic
Airports
Joined May 2015
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FDP’s. Fly 2 night flights to/from Lagos in succession. But of course, no time zone change means you’re perfectly rested to fly the next day. Makes total sense.
Thank you BALPA for waiting 3 years to try and extract value from Big Airways. It made perfect economic sense to wait until 100’s of desperate expat pilots were keen to displace your members, before offering an insulting pay rise. Nice spreadsheet ya bellends
Twitter’s chem-trail loonies are akin to a Medieval mob burning witches. Speaking as a commercial pilot, the fact that a section of society is becoming more and more vocal about this ridiculous theory, is deeply worrying.
We use to ridicule these people. They are beyond that now
Conspiracy Corner has a new hot topic. I have questions. Lots of questions. First Q: to establish why you think that I’m thick for believing the shift in the Atlantic jet stream (probably caused by El Niño) has led to persistent wet weather in 2024 for the British Isles.
To the thousands of people who commented about how hard it was to stay up until the morning after the ELECTION. Try it 10 times a month until retirement. #pilotlife #longhaul
Gareth Southgate is pretty much modelling his coaching style on how I reacted to my children’s Nativity plays. The expectation was high but even though my son forgot most of his lines and wee’d himself in front of 100 parents*, I made sure he didn’t feel too bad about it*
Capt Twit(ter) retweeted
5 days to go. Remember when senior Conservatives showed they don't understand anything about trade
How many pilots does it take to change a lightbulb?
2
One to ask a series of open questions about the options of how to do it, and the other to know the specific rules on lightbulbs because they’ve actually read the 17 lightbulb updates on their iPad in the last 5 years
Congratulations to all the Easy Jet pilots for your recent @BALPApilots negotiated pay rise of 17% and RPI+ for the following years. Sharing in the success of your great company is great to hear. You lead by example 🤜🏼🤛🏼
No-one pointing out right now that if political turmoil in Georgia results in their air space closure to (let’s call them)…’allies of Ukraine’, then getting from/to the Far East to/from Europe will be close to impossible via direct flight?
Iran shut
Russia shut
Shrinking world
It still amazes me how no one knows that people who write MBE after their name are essentially fessing up to being a Massive Bell End. Quite a courageous and self deprecating move to make. I admire them for their powers of self criticism.
If you’re worried that liking a tweet that is cynical about your/my employer/industry is a bit risky why not like THIS tweet to express your solidarity in a non potentially-career-threatening way?
#SocialMediaGuidines
“FFS Christina” I’d say after nearly popping a bollock. Hopefully straight after, I’d ask her to pass the left over bolognese behind her scrawny arse and shut the door just to freak HER out. We can all play practical jokes Ms Ricci. Hmmmm.
Hey @HeathrowAirport now that the mouse infestation at T5 has got SO bad, how about you do something about it? Seeing as the place is empty for 4 hours each night, maybe you could spend a bit of your profit on controlling their population? @foodgov
PLANE 2 now out!
Where Pilot Brodie Torrance is interviewed by his Chief Pilot who explains how a Faraday Cage works and no one dies. IMDB score - 4.4/10.
“Boring” says Reg Smith who admits he has a fear of flying
Sat watching @BigJetTVLIVE and evidently for the odd carrier a ‘safe landing policy’ is not necessarily a thing. TDZ yeah whatever