@JohnnyCrust4

Credit Guy. RIP Johnny Crust 1-3

Joined February 2026
  • Tweets1.8K
  • Following198
  • Followers1.2K
182Media
Connecting my baby’s crib to the WiFi network along with my refrigerator, car, grill and washing machine. This makes me feel like such a pussy. I yearn for the mines and analog.
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Please my father is Mr Wimp. Call me Gay
Actual Names@ActualNames18h
Gay Wimp Kansas, State Census, 1925
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I have been permanently banned from The Balloon Museum
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Why did one of my credits email me with the subject line PIK Or Treat 🎃 with nothing in the body?
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Every one of this guys posts involves his “super successful friends” that never invite him places but tell him about it afterwards like some sort of humiliation ritual. #NukeWestsideLAGuy
Westside L.A. Guy
@WestsideLAGuyOct 20
The status game in SF has gotten so bad that people are straight up fabricating their work experience to impress people. My bro was Goldman banking>megafund PE>HBS/GSB MBA. He caught a guy in a straight up lie at a house party. Hilarious.
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This is where I tweet from
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I’m ruined
Johnny Crust 4@JohnnyCrust4Oct 19
Came home to another 12 Amazon packages my wife ordered at the bottom of my driveway. No recession here!
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Came home to another 12 Amazon packages my wife ordered at the bottom of my driveway. No recession here!
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My eyes are watering this is beautiful
For Our Futures
@foronionfuturesOct 19
HAPPENING NOW in downtown Chicago, outside the Chicago Mercantile Exchange, the historic center of onion futures trading
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Im old and I bought my home earlier this year and it’s not paid off. Why should I be paying property taxes?
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My boss: how was your weekend? Me:
Bryan Johnson
@bryan_johnsonOct 18
Collected Kate’s period blood yesterday. 30 mL to build an organoid for her endometriosis. 30mL for single cell molecular characterization of her endometriosis.
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Fuck it, we need 48 teams in the CFP with what the SEC pulled today
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RiverRoadPartners@partners_roadOct 17
Thought I’d pop in to Gramercy Tavern at 1, sit at the bar, and have a burger and a glass of wine. 45 minute wait at the bar, 2 hour wait for a table. I didn’t wait (and I love Gramercy). Tough week on Wall St and still zero sign of a recession.
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Bro no a dad is really humbling, I’ve been shit on so many times you’d think I was an instagram model flying out to visit a Sheik
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Being a dad* glad I still can’t type
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Say the line
RiverRoadPartners@partners_roadOct 16
Just finishing a late lunch with my smartest friend. 90 minutes with him sets off 40 hours of research across different industries and different instruments. The diversity of his holdings and the creativity with which he allocates his capital is always a revelation.
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Well I guess it’s back to the always stable private credit markets for me
Johnny Crust 4@JohnnyCrust4Oct 13
I was pretty nervous all of last night because today was my first day as the speech writer for the Presidents new Press Secretary. If you love what you do you never work a day in your life!
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Every brewery: Yeah dude it’s called Hells Elixir. It’s 11.9% IPA that tastes like piss and costs $15 for 8 oz. Of course it has Rick and Morty on the bottle. Anyway, I can’t turn the heat down and I won’t apologize for how sticky and gross it is here but at least we allow dogs.
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I’m glad that all aspects of life are essentially ruined due to money grabs. Cool stuff
Pete Thamel
@PeteThamelOct 15
Sources: The College Football Playoff is nearing a deal to expand to 24 teams, per sources. The new format will start in 2027 and is expected to come together in the near future, pending final approvals.
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#ERADICATESF
Vikram Subbiah
@tiovikramOct 10
- Brookie LeBlanc (one day before my 8th birthday) Truly the best birthday gift I could’ve asked for. 8 yo me thanks you for inspiring me not to be like the many failures in the world.
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