Jonathan Lovrien

Treat me like a queen and I’ll treat you like my king. Treat me like a game. And I’ll show you how it’s played.

I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge.

Life: Besides gravity, nothing keeps me down.

Marriage is like a walk in the park... Jurrasic Park.

The chains on my mood swing just snapped. Run!

Dear humans, in case you forgot, I used to be your Internet. Sincerely, The Library.

There are two types of human beings found on Facebook. One who gets enormous amount of likes and comments on their posts. And the others are men.

I’m just a mirror for you, You are good, I’m best, You are bad, I’m worst.

Have some patience, I'm screwing things up as fast as possible.

My middle finger salutes your attitude.

Silence is the most powerful scream.

Why must I prove that I am me when I pay bills over the phone? Did some else call to pay my bills, and if they did, why don't you let them?

Guys are like stars, there are millions of them, but only one makes your dreams come true.

I Know Wat You’re Doing Right Now… You’re Reading On My Wall, Right !

I’d really post your name here every minute if facebook keeps on asking me what’s on my mind

I failed my online quiz, did great on my FB status.

Liking your own status is like high fiving yourself in the face.

Facebook should have a limit on times you can change your relationship status… After 3 it should default to “unstable”.

I did a push-up today. Well actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so close enough.

My six pack is protected by a layer of fat.