Good jokes. Bad jokes. Jokes I tell my mom. Aaaaaand jokes I DON’T.
Joined July 2022
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You’re just mad that merely viewing the Roadster fly caused such a surge of testosterone in your neo-vagina that it cancelled out your last HRT treatment.
This Ghoul has the gall to blame Elon for the deaths of thousands while having the flag of a regime that murdered MILLIONS on his profile picture.
Justin Lewis retweeted
I needed to move a sofa.
I mentioned this to an American. He said, "You know anybody with a truck?"
I did not know anybody with a truck.
He looked at me with real concern. Not pity. Concern. The way you look at a man who has told you he does not have a name.
"You gotta know somebody with a truck."
I asked how one acquires such a person.
He said, "You just do."
This is the third time I have received that answer in this country. It is the answer to everything here. You just do. There is no process. There is only the eventual fact of having.
He said, "Ask Kevin."
I do not know a Kevin. He said Kevin like I should. He said it the way you say a shared uncle.
I met Kevin four days later. Kevin owns a truck. Kevin does not own a truck for himself. Nobody owns a truck for themselves. Kevin owns a truck for a fifteen mile radius.
Inside I said: THIS MAN HAS TAKEN A VOW. HE DID NOT ANNOUNCE IT. HE SIMPLY PURCHASED A BED AND ACCEPTED THE CONSEQUENCES.
Kevin arrived on Saturday. He brought the truck. He also brought a second man.
I had not asked for a second man.
The second man's name is Tony. Tony came because Kevin came. Tony did not know me. Tony did not ask what we were moving. Tony brought gloves.
They moved the sofa in eleven minutes.
I offered them money. Both of them laughed at the same time, which felt rehearsed and was not.
I asked what I owed them.
Kevin said, "Buy the pizza."
That is the price. That is the entire economy. The truck costs one pizza and the pizza is not negotiable and the pizza is also not expensive and everyone knows what size.
Inside I said: THE FEE IS FIXED ACROSS THE ENTIRE NATION AND WAS SET BY NO ONE.
We ate on the floor because the sofa was against the wall and none of us wanted to be the first to sit on it.
Tony told me his daughter plays soccer. I asked if she is good. He said, "She's aggressive."
I still think about that.
Three weeks later, Kevin texted me.
"You free Sunday? Helping Tony move a fridge."
He did not ask if I wanted to. He informed me of a fridge.
Inside I said: I HAVE BEEN CALLED UP. I DID NOT ENLIST. THE PAPERS WERE FILED ON MY BEHALF.
I went. I moved the fridge. I have no truck. I contributed only arms.
Afterward, a man I had never met asked me if I knew anybody with a truck.
I said, "Yeah, I got a guy."
I have a guy.
I am somebody's guy now, too. Tony has told two people about me.
He describes me as "the guy who's strong for his size."
I have never been prouder of a sentence in my life.
Justin Lewis retweeted
If you're using the Grand Blanc church shooting as an opportunity to plug "ackshyually Mormons aren't Christians" like a YouTuber promoting Raid: Shadow Legends, you're just not a good person.
That's all there is to it.
Justin Lewis retweeted
BREAKING: 🚨 The alleged 1PM CST deadline has now passed for Governor Abbott to comply with the Biden Regime to allow the Federal Government back into Shelby Park and remove the Texas National Guard.
Texas Gov. Abbott has already stated he is “prepared for conflict”
Repost this if you stand with Texas!
#IStandWithTexas
Justin Lewis retweeted
🧵Imagine being a mother on a peaceful afternoon, January 10, 2024. It's 2:00 P.M. in the afternoon, and you're caring for your year-old baby boy, preparing his bottle. He's nestled in his swing, watching Ms. Rachel on the television.
Everything is peaceful and calm. But in an abrupt, heart-stopping 15 seconds, tranquility is about to be shattered, turning your world into unimaginable chaos.
Then, a thunderous knock shatters the silence as the clock ticks to 2:12 pm.
This is a scary and heartbreaking story about a mother named Courtney and her son, Waylon.
Courtney anticipated her uncle coming home around that time and thought he was playing a joke on her when she heard the pounding on the door UNTIL she approached the door.
But as she reached the top of the steps, she realized this wasn’t a joke or her uncle, but it was a gang of about twenty police officers. In a whirlwind of confusion, the door violently bursts open, windows shatter, and the room fills with armed officers pointing guns at them.
Courtney, frozen in shock while seeing the world around her erupt into chaos. Guns are pointed in every direction, and a thick smoke begins to engulf the room, threatening to swallow Waylon in his swing. Out of fear for her baby boy, she screamed for her baby, pleading for his safety, emphasizing his fragile state on a ventilator. But her pleas were ignored, and she was roughly grabbed, pulled out of the house, and handcuffed.
Despite her cries, the officers inside the house showed no concern for Waylon. Over twenty of them were present, yet not one stopped to check on the baby or remove him from the dangerous smoke and debris. The SWAT team arrived with two medics, but their cursory check failed to grasp the severity of Waylon's condition. The negligence is appalling – Waylon, who was already vulnerable due to his prematurity and dependence on a ventilator, is left amidst chaos and danger.
Courtney's aunt, Redia Jenning, also shared her perspective on this horrifying incident. She stated on Facebook that she and her husband, Marlon, were at work when their home was mistakenly raided by a SWAT team. The home’s security footage captures the terrifying scene – the police never gave Courtney a chance to open the door.
Redia’s heart dropped when she saw Waylon’s condition; a baby boy already fighting health challenges is now struggling for his life in the PICU. His delicate lungs, which had shown signs of recovery, are now inflamed and infected due to the chemical exposure. He has sustained chemical burns on his body and around his eyes. Waylon's medical progress, including a planned open-heart surgery, is now heartbreakingly set back.
Courtney and her family will be seeking justice and need to replace Waylon’s medical equipment as soon as possible. I’m asking that you all share this story with anyone you can to help Courtney and her family get justice and everything they need for baby Waylon.
Thank You.
#JusticeForWaylon
