I want a #lunchable and a #pudding cup, now 🥲

I have an alarm for 5pm that says #flextape and I’m not sure why

Low effort #oven #smores

Today, I was in the parking lot at Target. As I was about to leave, a 30ish year old lady walked by my car and was talking to her partner started singing, “Snape, Snape, Severus Snape, Dumbledore!” It was a blessed time.

My biggest irrational fear, and something I think about 3-4 times a week is, “what if horses had dog teeth?”

That #Seinfeld couch is fuckin ugly #ugly

Frappuccinos are just coffee smoothies.

Your teeth, but they are chiclets. #Biology

Wearing a rubber suit is human body lamination.

I have a shitty attitude, but also #dog

#dogsoftwitter #fall @lcgidcomb

Enjoying the crumchy leaves @lcgidcomb #dogsoftwitter #fall #leaves

Me: sees $8 million house for sale on Realtor Also me: I really want to cry in that house

Imagine if your bones left your body rn

I’m a 1%er and by that I mean I don’t ever charge my fucking phone.

It’s Will-Hay Nelson. My emotions, too, are mixed.

Insulation looks suspiciously like cotton candy.

henlo #acd #dogsoftwitter