Today’s meal planning is brought to you by ‘fuck it, We are just gonna eat cornbread.’

the moon is made of cheese 🧀

Welcome to Monday where everyone is stupid and so am I

I do work today but I think maybe 4am is the new normal for me

Today’s ear worm - "Pop a Percocet" by Bankhead

It’s only 3 and I’m already amused to be off today

shibboleth is any linguistic feature—specifically a word, phrase, or pronunciation—that acts as an indicator of a person's social, regional, or cultural identity. It is used by an "in-group" to instantly identify whether an outsider belongs to their group.

I’m sorry, but I can’t be responsible for the violence I commit against spiders if they are going to keep sneaking up on me.

I don’t like when books have really obvious redundancies in them. Like if somebody gets a tattoo, you don’t have to tell me it’s on their skin because the odds of it being on their eyeball while possible are pretty slim.

its 'theres a long sleeve shirt hanging on the bedroom door just in case' Season.

I always prefer to fix things when I can and not involve the landlord. Yesterday I learned that there is a spot for an allen wrench/hex key under the garbage disposal to get the gears unstuck. thank you internet

i haven't voted with an electronic ballot in so long I forget they exist. #OldSchool

mom had tree trimmers at the house and she gave the whole crew halloween candy. 🤣

Misread a business as Tabasco and Liquor, not Tobacco and Liquor. So ya it's gonna be a long day