You gotta go see @MountHollyBand. Lava artist👇 xitter.cf/nickperri/status/90803…

When the singer quits to go solo

Paying my rent the only way I can

I would post a photoshop of @tedcruz liking one of our product videos, but I don't want to get flagged for gear porn.

Either my allergies are so bad that I'm allergic to my guitar playing, or my guitar playing is so bad that I'm now allergic to it.

Some say comedians are failed actors and musicians are failed comedians, but all obnoxious guitar store shredders are failed humans.

My prime David Bowie impression is just my geriatric Katharine Hepburn impression singing.

Labor Day is really about celebrating all the hard work it takes to achieve great tone for drowning out my sad marriage & terrible children.

I will personally see to it that a 6.9% discount is given to anyone that orders 420 cables.

"Fthksadgbjjk" -what it looks like when you type a tweet by slapping your keyboard with non-Lava cable. This tweet was typed by a Lava cable

When SRV does that giant bend on The Sky Is Crying and you're just sittin there like

The tidiness of my pedalboard is inversely proportionate to my level of personal hygiene

If there's one Rule that every hip hop collab should follow, it's Ja.

My therapist charges 3 Boss DS-1's an hour just to tell me my Gear Acquisition Syndrome is actually "a severe personal finance problem" smh

We are finally @LavaCable. Our old username @LavaCables, much like my hope to be a musician, was let go and is now completely inactive.

The reverb I use most is Empty Apartment. I usually have it before my delay and after my girlfriend dumps me.

I'm a fashion insider, in that I dress like I've been shredding inside my parents' basement alone for the past 8 hours.

These pedals are 5144 miles away. Completely worth a demo #shiftline