Jesus-follower, writer, speaker, blogger since 2008, happy woman, mom and grandma. Author of five books, latest: GODLY MOMS: STRENGTH FROM THE INSIDE OUT
northern California
Joined June 2010
- Tweets4.3K
- Following123
- Followers314
- Likes11K
Looking for a better way to managing life? lenorebuth.com/2026/10/27/he…
Lenore Buth retweeted
After 29 years of marriage, I can sum up my best advice in three words:
Just. Hang. On.
Before your marriage can thrive, it has to survive.
I promise you this:
All the good stuff is on the other side of whatever problem you’re facing. When you feel like giving up, that’s the time to double down.
Let’s think logically:
Nobody gets divorced during the good times. That means THE WHOLE BALL GAME is weathering the storms. And trust me, the storms will come.
Years ago, when my marriage was struggling, an older mentor told me something that stuck:
A great marriage is built, not found.
If your partner…
> Isn’t crazy (increasingly rare these days)
> Shares your core values
> Wants a great relationship
…then you’ve got all the building blocks you need. But you still have to BUILD. And just as importantly, STOP tearing down.
Try this simple hack for 30 days:
Each morning, say, “I have the best spouse in the world.”
Even if you’re not sure you believe it, say it anyway. Make it your mantra. Say it to your partner.
YOU GO FIRST. I bet you’ll be shocked at how they respond in kind.
Words have power. What you say shapes your beliefs, which inform your actions. It becomes self-fulfilling.
Burn the boats and go all in. There’s a massive difference between being 99% committed and 100% committed.
These days my wife and I talk all the time about how great a life we’ve built together. I shudder to think where I’d be if we didn’t hang on through the tough times.
Nearly three decades in, we’re still building. I encourage you to do the same.
📸:
2006: One in the nest, building.
2026: Empty nest, still building.
P.S. It goes without saying that “just hang on” doesn’t apply to abusive relationships.
Lenore Buth retweeted
HABITS I STOLE FROM THE CALMEST MOM I KNOW WHOSE KIDS ACTUALLY LISTEN, RESPECT HER, AND FEEL SAFE AROUND HER.
1. She gave two choices instead of one command.
Lenore Buth retweeted
A young sailor had one goal.
He wanted every voyage to feel smooth.
Whenever the wind changed direction, he adjusted the sails.
Whenever the waves shifted, he changed course.
Whenever the sea became uncomfortable, he steered toward whatever felt easier.
Yet somehow, despite all his effort, he rarely arrived where he intended to go.
One day, an old captain watched him struggle.
“Why do you keep changing course?” the captain asked.
“I’m trying to keep the boat steady,” the young sailor replied.
The captain shook his head.
Then he pointed to the compass.
“You’re steering for comfort.”
The sailor looked confused.
“The wind will always change,” the captain said. “The sea will never ask what you prefer. If you keep chasing comfort, you’ll spend your life drifting.”
He tapped the compass again.
“Steer for this instead.”
The young sailor followed the advice.
The journey wasn’t always comfortable.
The winds still changed.
Storms still came.
But for the first time, he consistently reached his destination.
Life works much the same way.
Moods change.
Circumstances change.
Opinions change.
But people who know their values don’t have to reinvent their direction every time conditions shift.
Let your values set your direction, not your current mood or circumstance.
Is your self-image accurate for who you are today? lenorebuth.com/2026/09/22/ho…
Lenore Buth retweeted
In a mountain village lived a master violin maker whose instruments produced the most beautiful music anyone had ever heard.
A young apprentice asked his secret.
The master showed him stacks of wood.
“These came from trees that survived harsh winters.”
The apprentice frowned.
“Wouldn’t healthier trees be better?”
The master shook his head.
“The struggle made the wood stronger.”
Years later, the apprentice crafted his own violin using mountain wood.
When he played it, the sound was rich, deep, and unforgettable.
Only then did he understand.
The very hardship that challenged the trees had created their beauty.
The challenges you’ve survived may be the reason your voice carries a strength others can hear.
Sooner or later we all face big-time challenges. What then? lenorebuth.com/2026/09/10/fi…
When our world falls apart, how can we go on? lenorebuth.com/2026/09/10/fi…
Lenore Buth retweeted
I used to lose my temper 3-4 times a day with my small kids.
Then I realized something that changed everything:
Your harsh words and overreactions aren't just "bad moments."
They're becoming your child's inner voice.
Here are 5 ways to get it under control (the last one will hit you hard):
First, understand this:
What you say to your kids TODAY becomes what they say to THEMSELVES at 25, 35, 45.
"You're so lazy."
"Why can't you just listen?"
"You're making me so angry."
"What's wrong with you?"
"Why can't you be more like your brother??"
Those words don't disappear. They echo for decades.
We've all been there. No parent is perfect.
But you can get better. Here's how:
1. REFRAME: HAVE TO → GET TO
Stop saying "I HAVE TO put them to bed."
Start saying "I GET TO put them to bed."
I GET TO:
• Feed them
• Play with them
• Drive them to practice
• Read them to
• Tuck them in
When they're young, they rely on you for everything.
When they're older, they rely on you for guidance.
This window closes. Treat it like the privilege it is.
2. BUILD A GRATITUDE FOUNDATION
Your kids are a blessing.
Young souls you get to steward, watch over, and train.
They LOVE you. Deeply. Unconditionally.
How you parent either builds that love and bond—or weakens it.
When you're frustrated, pause and think:
"I get to be their dad. Not everyone has this."
Gratitude changes everything.
3. THE PERSPECTIVE SHIFT
Put yourself in their shoes.
If YOU were the child, how would you view YOUR parenting?
Would you feel:
• Loved, respected, cherished, valued?
Or:
• Confused, demeaned, frustrated, scared?
Your kids can't articulate this. But they feel it.
Their behavior is showing you what they're experiencing.
Notice this.
4. THE VIDEO RECORDING EXERCISE
Imagine cameras are recording your home all day.
At the end of the day, you have to watch it back.
Would you be proud?
Or would you see:
• Yelling over small things
• Impatience constantly
• Harsh words you can't take back
• A dad who's checked out
Last week I caught myself snapping at my 6-year-old over spilled milk. Stopped mid-sentence. Asked myself: would I be proud watching this back?
Changed my entire response.
Your kids ARE recording. Not with cameras but with their subconscious mind.
What you do today is what they'll remember tomorrow.
5. YOUR LEGACY (This one matters most)
Your children will grow up.
One day, they'll stand at your funeral and talk about you.
What will they say?
"Dad was patient and kind."
"Dad always had time for us."
"Dad taught us how to handle hard things."
Or...
"Dad was always stressed and angry."
"Dad had a short temper."
"We tried not to upset him."
Your legacy isn't built in big moments.
It's built in how you respond when they spill juice. When they won't listen. When they test you for the 47th time today.
Every moment of patience is an investment in what they'll say about you.
Every harsh word is a withdrawal.
Which account are you filling?
Look, I still mess up. Weekly.
But I'm intentional about getting better.
Pick ONE strategy. Try it for 7 days.
Your kids will notice.
And 20 years from now, they'll remember the dad who kept showing up.
Choose wisely.
Lenore Buth retweeted
I asked my mother a few days ago if, after almost sixty years of marriage, she was still in love with my father.
She looked at me for a moment, as if searching for words that don't fit into sentences. She didn't answer. She just smiled.
Later, when I got home, I found on my phone the answer that her silence had already conveyed:
“Sometimes you ask me if I’m still in love with him. I smile, not because the question is silly, but because the answer isn’t simple. How can I say yes—but not like before?”
It's no longer about butterflies in the stomach or fireworks. It's about roots.
Love, after so many years, is no longer a hurricane that sweeps you away. It's the firm ground that sustains you. It doesn't quicken your heart—it calms your soul. It doesn't make your hands tremble—it gives you the strength to raise them every day.
There are no more surprises, but there are rituals: coffee drunk at the same time, little arguments about towels, the blanket being pulled away when the other sneezes. They don't seem like big things... but they are.
Today, I don't expect grand gestures. I hope he notices when my back hurts, that he hugs me when I fall apart, that he doesn't leave me alone even when I don't know how to deal with myself.
Loving someone after a lifetime together isn't like in the books. It's like having a secret language that only we speak. It's understanding the weight of a tired gaze, the pause in silence, breathing at the same time.
So, yes. I'm still in love with him. But not with the initial charm. I'm in love with everything we've built. With the peace of knowing that, in any storm, he still is—and always will be—my refuge.
Lenore Buth retweeted
The goal of marriage should not be to construct two lives that could be easily separated tomorrow with little inconvenience. What kind of marriage would that be?
If my husband were to leave it would be devastating, if our lives were to separate it would be incredibly painful, it would cause tremendous grief. We are tangled, deeply tangled, and that is how it is supposed to be.
Marriage is not two people living side by side who happen to be walking the same path. Marriage is not about lives living in parallel, steadily close but never touching. Marriage is like two rivers meeting, you cannot tell one water apart from the other.
Lenore Buth retweeted
In any relationship, there will be frightening spells in which your feelings of love dry up. And when that happens you must remember that the essence of marriage is that it is a covenant, a commitment, a promise of future love. So what do you do? You do the acts of love, despite your lack of feeling. You may not feel tender, sympathetic, and eager to please, but in your actions you must BE tender, understanding, forgiving and helpful. And, if you do that, as time goes on you will not only get through the dry spells, but they will become less frequent and deep, and you will become more constant in your feelings. This is what can happen if you decide to love.
Could Tracking Your Happiness Levels Make You Unhappy? lenorebuth.com/2026/08/22/be…
Never discount how one person can make their world better. lenorebuth.com/2026/08/06/ho…
Lenore Buth retweeted
Po 20 latach małżeństwa muszę w końcu powiedzieć to głośno...
Z moją żoną nie łączy mnie już nic.
Poznaliśmy się na egzaminie na filozofię ponad 20 lat temu. Byliśmy młodzi i głupi, nie słuchając rozsądnych opinii szybko wzięliśmy ślub.
A potem życie zrobiło swoje i dziś żyjemy w dwóch różnych światach.
Ona: dzieci, szkoła, dydaktyka, nauka, góry, natura, koty, dramaty.
Ja: firmy, fundusze, inwestycje, biznes, miasto, beton, psy, komedie.
Ona: kreatywna, empatyczna, marzycielska.
Ja: analityczny, rzeczowy, osadzony w faktach.
Zero wspólnych pasji.
Zero wspólnych zainteresowań.
Nie śmieszą nas te same rolki na Instagramie.
Każdy terapeuta ze śniadaniowej telewizji wystawiłby naszemu małżeństwu akt zgonu. Znajomi pewnie się zastanawiają, kiedy ogłoszę rozwód.
No to ogłaszam...
Kocham tę kobietę bardziej niż 20 lat temu!
I kiedy wieczorem opowiada mi o rzeczach, które kompletnie mnie nie interesują, słucham jej z przyjemnością, której nie tłumaczy żaden poradnik.
Bo przez te 20 lat zrozumiałem coś, co przeczy wszystkiemu, co wciskają nam media.
Wspólne pasje to nie budulec związku. To dekoracja. Ludzie po latach idą różnymi drogami, w różnym tempie i to nie jest awaria. Tak wygląda życie.
Prawdziwy budulec jest inny. Chcesz dla drugiej osoby lepiej niż dla siebie. Jej potrzeby stawiasz nad swoje. Wolisz dawać, niż brać. Jeśli tego nie ma, nie uratują was nawet identyczne playlisty.
Więc jeśli twoja druga połówka to twoje przeciwieństwo, przestań to naprawiać. Może właśnie tam mieszka wasz sekret.
Nie musicie kochać tych samych rzeczy.
Wystarczą te same wartości, ten sam kierunek, szacunek do różnic i troska o drugą połowę większa niż o siebie.
I na koniec coś, co zrozumiałem dopiero niedawno...
Przez 20 lat moja żona każdego dnia miała powody, żeby wybrać inaczej. Innego człowieka, inne życie, inny świat; bliższy jej gór niż mojego betonu.
Mimo to każdego dnia wybierała to samo... mnie.
Miłość to nie jest coś, co się czuje. To coś, co się codziennie wybiera.
Od 21 lat jestem czyimś wyborem i jestem z tego naprawdę dumny...
