Michael Gallo

Player Takes After 5 Games (Very Serious) Jahmyr Gibbs - Clear 1.01 playing like the 1.01 Kenneth Walker - Prime Christian McCaffrey, including the injury risk Jaylen Warren - Prime Christian McCaffrey when Rico Dowdle is hurt Christian McCaffrey - No longer Christian McCaffrey Josh Allen - If you asked Claude to build a fantasy friendly QB in a lab Bijan Robinson - Possibly not human Drake London - Why Michael Penix has a job Brock Bowers - Would be WR3 in fantasy points per game, somehow TE-eligible in fantasy football Puka Nacua - Prime Antonio Brown, including the off-field concerns Derrick Henry - Still Derrick Henry Christian Watson - Wet dream Jameson Williams season Jameson Williams - Having a typical Jameson Williams season Matthew Golden - Possibly also Jameson Williams Luther Burden - Wish he was Jameson Williams Jaxon Smith-Njigba - Might actually be god Colston Loveland - Expected fantasy points poster child on 1-4 fantasy teams Chuba Hubbard - Bell cow in a good offense Omarion Hampton - Wish his name was Ollie Gordon Jaylen Waddle - Might have bonked Sean Payton's wife Travis Etienne - Might have bonked Kellen Moore's wife Emeka Egbuka - Might have bonked Baker Mayfield's wife Malik Nabers - Fantasy WR1 when you decide to bench him Tyler Shough - Josh Allen when he has an easy matchup Michael Wilson - What we all wanted Marvin Harrison Jr. to be Caleb Williams - Josh Allen with bad hamstrings and a cannon that never quite shoots straight George Kittle - Doctors should study and clone his achilles Patrick Mahomes - Doctors should study and clone his ACL Dalton Kincaid - Still Dalton Kincaid Drake Maye - Jekyll and Hyde Jadarian Price - Trent Richardson Emanuel Wilson - Actually Jadarian Price Trey McBride - Wish you drafted Brock Bowers after all, huh? Brian Robinson - 15th in the entire NFL in TDs Jeremiyah Love - How you would expect a RB taken 3rd overall on the Cardinals to perform RJ Harvey - James White on the Broncos Tetairoa McMillan - Calvin Johnson whenever Jalen Coker misses a game Chris Olave - The one good WR who wears a guardian cap Rhamondre Stevenson - Inevitable Jayden Daniels - Should we just amputate his left arm? Kyler Murray - Might be J.J. McCarthy in a short suit D'Andre Swift - RB13 in points per game Kyle Monangai - RB15 in points per game Brock Purdy - Natural immunity to the electrical substation? Kalif Raymond - Still Kalif Raymond Kyren Williams - Designed in a lab to only appeal to film guys Garrett Wilson - Unlocked by Geno Smith Saquon Barkley - 5.1 yards per carry is the best way to cope if you drafted him Justin Herbert - Clearly distracted by his home life Kirk Cousins - Jameis Winston Jameis Winston - Looked rocky, but he's still Jameis Winston Ja'Marr Chase - Turned into Tee Higgins? Tee Higgins - Still Tee Higgins Isaiah Likely - Trey McBride with a worse PR team Jonah Coleman - That injured guy we all spent too much FAAB on Aaron Jones - 25 touches a game with Jordan Mason out Cam Skattebo - The memes get less funny when he has only 1 TD on 91 touches