‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍𝐄𝖙𝖍𝖆𝖓 ᵐᵘˢᵗ 𝓓𝑰͟𝑬͟.ᐟ

" ohh, look at me, i'm chris redfield and i'm gonna make sure everyone on earth sees me shirtless but nooo, don't look teehee... i'm shy... don't look at my huge muscles, i'm just a regular guy, i'm not showing off at all... " that's what you sound like.

what the hell is your problem.

WOAH?

i don't know what came over me...

what is this, a fucking interrogation? fuck you and your stupid big fat boobs

( nodding his head thoughtfully. ) wow. there they are. i'm normal about this.

if you showed them to me right now while i'm ready for it, i'd just be like. oh, okay, that's cool. good for you, man.

i wasn't expecting to see them.

whatever, harlot.

okay. well. put them away.

AITA for telling my daughter that we already have the fairy costume she picked out a week ago, even though she decided just now that she wants to be a laundry basket for some reason???

no... i can't let it win...

rosemary watching me struggle for twenty minutes trying to open her string cheese because using the scissors means conceding to the packaging. " open here ".... what a load of garbage...

you guys will be hearing from my lawyer.

it was nice knowing you...