I write daily about my life with #bipolar disorder, also known as manic depression. 1.3 million words published | #mentalhealth | #blog | #amwriting
Joined November 2013
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Got my gorgeous fur baby home. Beautiful bengal kitten. She's so brave and is really at home right away. So amazing. So happy.
I tried to write yesterday, but I was drunk and fell asleep with my blog post half-written. TL;DR? I managed to escape the UK and am now on holiday, enjoying hot & sunny weather. It's bliss.
manicgrant.com/2020/wrong-ti…
I'm trying to escape Plague Island before the EU bans everybody from leaving. It's kinda exciting, but not in the same league as "will grandma die this winter because our politicians are spineless sociopaths?" I guess.
manicgrant.com/2020/the-boy-…
This might sound self-centred, but I've been asking myself one question a lot lately: how am I going to get through this Christmas without committing suicide? My plans are being thwarted, but somehow I'm coping; coming up with solutions. I still have hope.
manicgrant.com/2020/who-are-…
When I was a young man, I knew I had ENOUGH of everything I needed, and I was able to reconfigure my life around my priorities, which improved my happiness and contentment substantially. It all fell apart, and now I don't know what I want... maybe the end?
manicgrant.com/2020/what-doe…
I hate people who go on about 'spinning plates' or 'juggling' or 'multitasking'... like they want a medal. I'm BUSY and I LIKE IT that way. It's BORING not having much to do. The problem is, most stuff is so mundane, that it's also boring, and really awful
manicgrant.com/2020/time-poo…
Get whatever cat you want, but in hindsight, some hybrid cats are NOT domesticated enough to live in a domestic environment, even with a huge amount of adaptations; even with the right attitude. Washing bedding 3+ times a week is not sustainable.
manicgrant.com/2020/companio…
15 hour working day, today... not untypical. I do love being busy though. I would work 110 hours a week, every week, if I was paid enough and I was never bored. Definitely. I hate to even work 1 hour a week, if it's boring as hell.
manicgrant.com/2020/i-work-t…
Today was a hard day at the office BUT I REALLY LIKE WORKING HARD SO IT WAS AWESOME. I mean, I was still a dick to people, I'm sure. I guess I just need to embrace it now, right? That I'm a complete asshole?
manicgrant.com/2020/i-dont-w…
Hell is a large organisation. Hell is working on a very large project, but being denied the opportunity to make it successful, because of bullshit politics. Hell is having experience, talent and high productivity, but being denied the opportunity to use it
manicgrant.com/2020/i-need-t…
My social isolation is getting very bad now; dangerous.
manicgrant.com/2020/i-have-f…
I spend my evenings, weekends and holidays, feeling as if I don't exist, which is understandable because I don't see friends, family, neighbours, and I don't have a girlfriend. It's not an excuse to write mean stuff though. People do read it.
manicgrant.com/2020/people-r…
Supposedly, I have to be really careful about every word I speak or write: the general public are out there, and they see everything. Yes. I know that. I have published more than 1.4 million words for the public to read. I publish every single day.
manicgrant.com/2020/freedom-…
I said to myself I wasn't going to write about suicide, because things are going reasonably well, all things considered... but in the medium to long term, ending my life prematurely is inevitable. It's pure economics.
manicgrant.com/2020/the-end-…
I rely heavily on skills, which mercifully are now etched into my memory, such that I can perform highly complex tasks, no matter how impaired my brain is, due to lack of sleep, low blood sugar, intoxication and a whole host of other impediments.
manicgrant.com/2020/autopilo…
I've lost 10kg in two months and I'm healthy BMI. You'd have thought that the National Health Service website would leave me alone now, but oh no, they're not content; they're not satisfied. They will not be satisfied until I have an eating disorder.
manicgrant.com/2020/eating-d…
Feeling smug about being thin, fit, nice to people, and giving lots of your time and money to good causes? Congratulations: you're probably capable of being the world's nastiest person, if you fall on hard times. Better hope you stay rich!
manicgrant.com/2020/nasty
Ever wondered how to build a FTSE-100 company which screws and unscrews "digital nuts and bolts" and becomes the most valuable on the London Stock Exchange?
manicgrant.com/2020/all-your…
The idea that "we all pay in so that we all benefit" is a lovely one, but it doesn't work when some people take out vastly more than they put in. Retiring decades later, and receiving a tiny fraction of what you paid, sounds like a mug's game to me.
manicgrant.com/2020/everybod…
Ostensibly, I should be in greater possession of my sanity, thanks to two months of sobriety. However, I think I'm running my mouth and generally on borrowed time at work. I feel like I'm going through near-continuous mania... but totally dysphoric.
manicgrant.com/2020/manic-ra…
Between working, sleeping and eating, I have a lot of spare hours in the day. I wouldn't exactly call it "leisure" time though, although it does appear - on the face of it - as if I'm free to do whatever I want with the time.
manicgrant.com/2020/too-many…
