Parody account. Commentary account. Please be patient I have autism. More Brythonic than Anglo.
Greggs HQ
Joined August 2025
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This puerile war between Indians and baseball fans has been raging all weekend and I have firmly stayed out of it, both are professional sports with different skillsets with enough similarity than comparison is inevitable but enough difference that a top player in one would struggle in another.
It does go to show that the world’s most put upon subgroup is the non-Indian cricket fan on X, who is unable to comment on his favourite pastime without 50,000 Baljits descending en masse to post barely sentient, half-legible nonsense about Virat Kohli
Ciaphas Cain retweeted
How dare anyone accuse Her Excellency, Field Marshal Al Hajj Olukemi Olufunto Adegoke Badenoch, VC, DSO, MC, Lady of all the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Sea and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Nigeria in Particular of somehow being unBritish
Ciaphas Cain retweeted
I can’t believe our electricity system is being run by someone who seems to think Chernobyl was an instruction manual.
NESO latest: “We’re pond life to him.” @thetimes reveals that the three unions representing employees at Britain’s grid operator wrote to the board about management behaviour months ago.
times-comment.com/b4953226
Ciaphas Cain retweeted
Not quite. The £15 million was a public loan contracted through Rothschild and Montefiore, who sold it on as government stock to thousands of ordinary investors within weeks and were paid a fee for the deal.
They made money on it. It was business, not a gift. The other £5 million was paid in stock directly. Nobody gave Britain anything.
Every penny of it, plus interest, was repaid by the British taxpayer, the last of it in 2015.
Ciaphas Cain retweeted
Your relationship with your sister would be better if you were the type of person who’s less willing to brutally humiliate her in front of thousands of people on social media
i am basically estranged from one sister and there are a bunch of things that led to this, but the straw that broke the camel’s back was her boyfriend confessing that he felt he’d met the wrong sister and belonged with me instead.
i thought this was *insane* on a bunch of counts, but i’m reading the replies here and i guess it’s more common than i thought? perhaps just insane to actually shoot your shot. and also perhaps bad luck to do it in the context of a dynamic with a ton of jealousy and resentment already.
Ciaphas Cain retweeted
I used to reply “would” to pictures of hot women implying I would find the idea of sex with them agreeable. As my confidence increased I started to reply “will”. Now I’ve reached a level of self actualization where I simply reply “am”.
Ciaphas Cain retweeted
The Libertarian Party candidate for North Carolina state senate is currently in the midst of an armed chase and shoot-out with the cops, keeping us posted with live tweets:
Ciaphas Cain retweeted
Unpixelate the face, I want to check something
Girl, 10, rushed to hospital with ‘stomach ache’ found to be six months pregnant as stepdad, 33, arrested
thesun.co.uk/news/40801427/g…
Ciaphas Cain retweeted
An inspiring performance... if Henry's aim was to get some senior citizens in a care home to have some cocoa and biscuits and have an afternoon nap.
Probably my favourite version. It's much less bombastic than Olivier's or Branagh's.
#StCrispinsDay
Ciaphas Cain retweeted
Reminder that D.H. Lawrence bodied Russell so hard in a single letter that called him out that Russell contemplated suicide over it
“There is not in Europe any such thing as a pure race. Russians have an admixture of Tartar blood, Germans are largely Slavonic, France is a mixture of Celts, Germans, and people of Mediterranean race, Italy the same with the addition of the descendants of slaves from every corner of the Empire imported by the Romans. The English are perhaps the most mixed of all. There is no evidence that there is any advantage in belonging to a pure race. The purest races now in existence are the Pygmies, the Hottentots, and the Australian aborigines; the Tasmanians, thanks to the British, who were probably even purer are now extinct. There is a special absurdity in applying racial theories to the various populations of Europe.”
— Bertrand Russell, Unpopular Essays, Ch. VII: An Outline of Intellectual Rubbish
A barracks bunny speaks
I’m with @PeterBleksley all the way. All these young people bravely stating they won’t fight for this country. 🤦🏻♀️😫
I find it embarrassing.
Well there are still young people who recognise it’s not for Andy Burnham or the Labour Party it’s for the ordinary people of this country, their parents, grandparents, their friends and wider family. And whether they can afford a house or pay too much tax is utterly irrelevant to the future of this country when countries like Russia and Iran are looking through the windows and sizing up for carpets and the US is on the golf course…
And thank goodness many of us from the next generation up, whose bodies are creaking will willingly do whatever is necessary to keep those youngsters in their warm tv studios and safe in their homes watching it on the news.
Where do I sign? ✍️
Ciaphas Cain retweeted
>when countries like Russia and Iran are looking through the windows and sizing up for carpets
The only people looking through my windows and sizing up my carpets are the foreigners who your party and Labour let in by the millions in order to ruin us.
I’m with @PeterBleksley all the way. All these young people bravely stating they won’t fight for this country. 🤦🏻♀️😫
I find it embarrassing.
Well there are still young people who recognise it’s not for Andy Burnham or the Labour Party it’s for the ordinary people of this country, their parents, grandparents, their friends and wider family. And whether they can afford a house or pay too much tax is utterly irrelevant to the future of this country when countries like Russia and Iran are looking through the windows and sizing up for carpets and the US is on the golf course…
And thank goodness many of us from the next generation up, whose bodies are creaking will willingly do whatever is necessary to keep those youngsters in their warm tv studios and safe in their homes watching it on the news.
Where do I sign? ✍️
Ciaphas Cain retweeted
The British government is like "we're coming round to take the 2p coins from the crevasses of your couch and arresting you for playing Elgar and please buy baked beans so we can pretend the lines are moving and by the way we're paving over the countryside to build data centres that will be obsolete by the time they're finished and please can you just stop thinking and moving about already, you f***ing peasant."
Ciaphas Cain retweeted
People don’t really understand that when Lula stole trillions, it wasn’t to eat caviar, it was to put it in the global communism finances. If you think the commies who flood Europe with migrants and Lula are not related, you’re naive. It’s an international movement
