Trauma Recovery Coach I Speaker I Survivor of Sexual Abuse I Navy Veteran; I help survivors heal, regulate, and reduce shame; grounded in personal experience.
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Joined May 2024
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You may not be happy with the decisions you made when you were at your lowest point. However, you did the best you could at the time.
You were making survival decisions, not character decisions. Remember that. You're worth healing.
Stay positive and take action!
Waiting to feel motivated before you heal is like waiting for perfect weather before you start living.
Some days you'll feel inspired. Some days you'll feel nothing.
Compassionate discipline says: "I don't need to feel ready to take the next small step."
That's how trust in yourself is rebuilt.
You're not broken, you're meant to heal.
Mark Toner retweeted
The frightened child inside you doesn't need more criticism. They've already had enough of that.
They need: Safety, Compassion, Understanding, and Connection.
Healing often begins when we become the safe person our younger selves always deserved.
You're not broken, you're meant to heal.
Mark Toner retweeted
One of the most important things I've learned during my healing journey: Nobody gets to tell you how you should feel.
Nobody gets to decide whether your feelings are justified. Nobody gets to tell you that something "wasn't that bad." Nobody gets to tell you that you should be over it by now. And nobody gets to determine how quickly you should heal.
Your emotions belong to you. Your experience belongs to you. Your healing belongs to you.
That doesn't mean every feeling should dictate your behavior. It means you deserve the opportunity to understand what you're feeling instead of being ashamed of it.
Feel it. Understand it. Process it. Then decide what you want to do with it. That's part of healing.
You're not broken, you're meant to heal.
For years I asked myself: "What's wrong with me?" That question kept me trapped.
Then everything changed when I asked a different question. "What happened to me?"
One question produces shame. The other produces understanding. Sometimes the question we ask determines the direction of our healing.
You're not broken, you're meant to heal.
People sometimes assume that if you've healed, you no longer feel fear. That's not my experience.
I still feel fear. I still experience self-doubt. The difference? They no longer get to decide what I do.
Courage isn't the absence of fear. It's choosing to move forward while fear is sitting in the passenger seat.
You're not broken, you're meant to heal.
The frightened child inside you doesn't need more criticism. They've already had enough of that.
They need: Safety, Compassion, Understanding, and Connection.
Healing often begins when we become the safe person our younger selves always deserved.
You're not broken, you're meant to heal.
One of the most important things I've learned during my healing journey: Nobody gets to tell you how you should feel.
Nobody gets to decide whether your feelings are justified. Nobody gets to tell you that something "wasn't that bad." Nobody gets to tell you that you should be over it by now. And nobody gets to determine how quickly you should heal.
Your emotions belong to you. Your experience belongs to you. Your healing belongs to you.
That doesn't mean every feeling should dictate your behavior. It means you deserve the opportunity to understand what you're feeling instead of being ashamed of it.
Feel it. Understand it. Process it. Then decide what you want to do with it. That's part of healing.
You're not broken, you're meant to heal.
Mark Toner retweeted
One of the biggest shifts in my own healing came when I stopped asking, "Why am I like this?" and started asking, "What was my brain trying to protect me from?"
That one question replaced years of self-condemnation with curiosity. Curiosity is far more healing than shame.
You're not broken, you're meant to heal.
Mark Toner retweeted
For many years, it didn't occur to me that I could heal or change. I didn't think I needed to heal.
This led me to believe that this was just the way I was born, that I was broken, and would have to make the best with what I had.
Then I found healing. I realized that I had to work through my trauma from sexual abuse. I started to feel hope again. I started to feel empowered again. I became excited.
You can do the same. You can heal from any trauma you've been through in your life. I know you can.
You're not broken, you're meant to heal.
Mark Toner retweeted
One of the hardest things about trauma is that you can begin to believe the effects of what happened to you are simply who you are.
For years, that's how I saw myself.
I didn't think I needed healing. I thought I was born this way. I believed I was broken and that my only option was to make the best of it.
I never questioned whether those beliefs were true.
Then I began working through my childhood sexual abuse.
I started recognizing that some of the things I believed about myself weren't who I was. They were beliefs I had developed while trying to make sense of what happened to me.
That realization gave me hope. It gave me a sense of control over my future that I hadn't felt before.
You don't have to let the beliefs you've carried for years become the definition of who you are.
You can question them. You can work through your trauma. You can begin to see yourself differently.
Your story doesn't end with what happened to you.
You're not broken, you're meant to heal.
Mark Toner retweeted
When nobody's there to support, comfort, and protect you during your darkest times, you learn to rely on yourself.
You're not broken, you're meant to heal.
One of the biggest shifts in my own healing came when I stopped asking, "Why am I like this?" and started asking, "What was my brain trying to protect me from?"
That one question replaced years of self-condemnation with curiosity. Curiosity is far more healing than shame.
You're not broken, you're meant to heal.
For many years, it didn't occur to me that I could heal or change. I didn't think I needed to heal.
This led me to believe that this was just the way I was born, that I was broken, and would have to make the best with what I had.
Then I found healing. I realized that I had to work through my trauma from sexual abuse. I started to feel hope again. I started to feel empowered again. I became excited.
You can do the same. You can heal from any trauma you've been through in your life. I know you can.
You're not broken, you're meant to heal.
One of the hardest things about trauma is that you can begin to believe the effects of what happened to you are simply who you are.
For years, that's how I saw myself.
I didn't think I needed healing. I thought I was born this way. I believed I was broken and that my only option was to make the best of it.
I never questioned whether those beliefs were true.
Then I began working through my childhood sexual abuse.
I started recognizing that some of the things I believed about myself weren't who I was. They were beliefs I had developed while trying to make sense of what happened to me.
That realization gave me hope. It gave me a sense of control over my future that I hadn't felt before.
You don't have to let the beliefs you've carried for years become the definition of who you are.
You can question them. You can work through your trauma. You can begin to see yourself differently.
Your story doesn't end with what happened to you.
You're not broken, you're meant to heal.
When nobody's there to support, comfort, and protect you during your darkest times, you learn to rely on yourself.
You're not broken, you're meant to heal.
Mark Toner retweeted
Many trauma survivors ask, "Why can't I focus?"
Sometimes the answer isn't more productivity hacks. Sometimes your nervous system doesn't feel safe.
It's hard for the thinking brain to work at its best when the survival brain believes there's danger.
Before asking more from yourself, ask: "What would help me feel a little safer right now?" Sometimes regulation comes before concentration.
You're not broken, you're meant to heal.
Mark Toner retweeted
If you're struggling today, let me tell you something I wish someone had told me years ago.
Your story isn't over. It doesn't matter how long you've been surviving. It doesn't matter how hopeless things feel today.
Healing begins with one decision: To believe it's possible.
If you can't believe that yet... Borrow my hope until you find your own. Because healing is possible.
You're not broken, you're meant to heal.
Mark Toner retweeted
Living with unresolved trauma is exhausting. Living with ADHD is exhausting.
Living with both? It can feel like your brain is running a marathon before breakfast.
Many survivors wonder why they have so little energy. Sometimes it's because your nervous system has spent years scanning for danger while your brain is also working harder to manage attention, organization, and impulse control.
You're not weak. You've simply been carrying a heavier load than most people realize. Rest isn't quitting. Sometimes it's exactly what healing requires.
You're not broken, you're meant to heal.